Episode 13: Mia Goth Stan Club, I Came I Fainted, and Proper Hot Boxes

 This is Gay News reporter Mike Kandov coming at you with a live update. This episode is dealing with some technical difficulties in the beginning due to my part, but all I ask is coming in with open arms, open legs, and a blunt in hand. That's all we ask for this episode. Enjoy the episode as happy 420, blessings, and salutations. I'm out! 

This is my favorite holiday. We're wearing green. I personally decided to wear something thrifted and green because Earth month. I love you! 

I love it. That's a rave fit. 

I just got it. It's House of Sunny. It's a brand that does one of a kind type thing and I found it thrifted. So I got it for like 70% off. It's such and these are detachable so I don't even have to wear this fur. 

So that's expensive.

 This is considered expensive to us. It's really like I would say market like 150-200. Yeah, girl. $20 is a lot for me now. I got it for 40. 

Yeah. So that's what I'm like. The rest. 

Hey, and it looked new

. Girl, look brand new. I was like, this mine. It's a photo. It's a photo. I couldn't say no. I was pressuring my friend to get in and she was like, girl, you get in.

I was like, you know what? 

No, literally. She thought outside the box. She bought herself some brand new fucking Prada Sonny is over here. God fucking. 

What the fuck are you shopping, bitch?

 No, she literally wanted to go to Prada and buy Sonny's. 

I thought it was at the same thrift store. I was like, I would have gotten them. 

No, I've been dying for some Prada Sonny's girl. But no, that was her. That was like she a nurse. So she on that nurse salary, a blessing to be on any salary. 

Count your blessings. You're up. 

Blessings to make money, you guys. 

Anybody complaining about going to work, go to hail.

 Hug your paychecks.

 Hug your paychecks. Count your blessing. Cut all that paycheck. Because when you no longer have it, that's when you realize. Realize the real lies. 

But anyway, let's get propped below. I feel like you should just get lows out the way. And then so as a disclaimer, my way of dealing with some intense topics is joking about it. Work on medians. 

This is a comedy podcast. This is the number one comedy podcast on Spotify for a reason. And it's because we have two comedians. Exactly. 

Certified. Grammy award winning. Oscar. Certified. Like we got certifications to be. 

I did. I took the class one year. 

All you needed is trauma. You either have to be traumatized to gay. And that's how you become a comedian. Exactly. 

No, okay. Give us your. It's pretty insignificant. 

My first pet that I truly love. My number one had to be put down. My cats. Honestly, I'm kind of a Honestly, it's pretty insignificant now that I think about it. 

This is for the people that have lost somebody. Your best friend, your lady, your man, or your baby, or your granny. Or your kid. Or your kid. Me. You will never say. 

Shout out to my riot girl. Little quick memorial service for him, y'all. But yeah, bless us to him. Moment of silence for. 

Oh, I like how you got to the kidney. Yeah, he had kidney failure. Oh, he died at six. We had to put him down. But yeah, his ashes will be spread in a butterfly garden. 

I'm so sorry. I know how tough that is. Thankfully, you aren't like with your parents because you know how they would just be so emotional. And that whole house would just be emotional. But yeah, they had the brunt of it because they actually I mean, I haven't lived with my cat for over a year. 

So it's not like I see it every day. And it's not like, I don't have a reminder of it. So I got over it pretty fast. But this is my first time dealing with grief in the death in general situation. So it's like a soft launch to what I'll experience later in life, because we all deal with it. Super soft launch. 

Yeah. That ass. Because that's it. That is going to be soft launch. 

That's how you know, like, we just don't know how to deal with it. Like, it should happen. You know, everybody, everybody should see Mike and tell him their condolences blow his ass up, make him feel loved. Yeah, send me a dollar to actually. Yeah, we for real. Lord knows he needs to go find me. Oh, my girl, I looked in the mirror today and I'm starting to get skinnier from not eating broke. 

Anyways, when Milo is so much worse than yours, like not trying to steal the show. Super significant. No, mine's super significant compared to yours. 

Milo is that the bus never comes one time. I really did not know what to expect that first. I was like, she joking. And then I was like, maybe it is signal. 

No, I'm being I'm being. I mean, so real. Be serious. Be fucking serious. I'm being real. I'm being real. I'm being FR. I'm like BFFR. 

But the bus never comes on time and it's teaching me a lot of patience. And that lesson can be annoying, you know, at the end of the day, we often a fucking die anyway. So it's like, what you rushing for? Like, it don't matter. Like, it's fine. Like, you know what I mean? I feel like public transportation really teaches you that. Yeah, it's out of your control. Everything in life is a lesson that we have to learn from. I thought she was gonna say something wise. 

I am. And that is such a good lesson to learn about being patient because patience is such a great lesson in which the Bible has told us in Corinthian 17 for and praise be praise be praise Jesus praise him himself. God is good. Praise him. 

Anyway, before we get high, I'm going to start off and start getting high already since it's for motherfucking 20. Well, while you blaze that up, I'm gonna start with my heart. Actually, so today is the first day I really truly enjoyed the sun. So we've been having it for maybe two or three days I see there's this bench for my balcony and I've been looking at it and I'm like why don't I just smoke my cigarette on the bench so every day I go so fun that bench looks like but today I went out with some friends I got some Burger King I sat in the park t-shirt on I haven't had a t-shirt outside and so I like I never know what to stop yeah so I did that today I was just enjoying the sun it's really coming it's coming it's hot as fuck over here too it's nice you were telling me bitch we're not gonna have this weather for another like two months that you have so I'm a little bit jealous patience next week it goes back to being a little like cold but it's hot right now like it's summertime fine right now hmm how much set the tone let's set it sorry you guys we forgot to set it at the beginning it's about 75 over here I know I know you jealous all you gotta do is move here though girl I can't even move next door like I don't have money to all you gotta do is manifest a girl all you need is a plane ticket that's really all you need a job is easy you got a place to stay for two weeks or a little bit longer let me have a time limit I don't play around by my face for five business days you have a place to stay I would say two weeks to maybe a month if you really had to but like hopefully not how much is it for an extension but I have to put a fucking time limit with you because your wives be fucking over doing it you Mike is the type of person you give him a inch he will take what he I get comfortable and then it's you know what it's 420 we're not talking about insecurities challenges obstacles we are we are earthy we are whole we are pure and we are virgin I always said I nobody catches that fucking reference no littered when I was listening I didn't even catch it I was like how did I not catch that me at myself this is why I think I got a DVA said I deviated something bitch I keep snorting I never snorted before like I'm going up once you start snorting you never stop I'm the same way because when you have a deviated symptom you can get a nose job if you want included in the surgery have a boy pay for it who the man that fell on your face girl oh did I talk about on the phone I did I believe that he fell on my face yeah you did mm-hmm it was a low it was a low now continuing with the lows oh no we got no girl girl she's already high kicky kicky bitch I've been smoking that high so I have a high that was with the low so you know the bus was my low so one of my highs is the bus driver today right before this I was wearing like this green necklace and he was like is that a jade necklace or something like that I don't know my stones and I was like maybe and he was like what's your sign and I was like you talking set a right bitch and he was like I'm a tourist I was like I'm a Virgo he's like I'm a tourist girl we was yip yappadin for about five the picture what's he look like just like a New Yorker young old he was like definitely like probably like my age maybe like ten between my age and ten years older you could tell like he's like unknown bus driver in Queens because everybody was like hey hey he was beeping at everybody to say hi like he knew everybody on the streets girl not him be the prom king of buses no he is the prom king and he was talking about Virgos he was like people don't know but Virgos are the backbone of the world I was like I know he was like people think that y'all are critical but it's all love I was like you speak in facts and he was like and people think that y'all are harsh but they have no idea how y'all talk to ourselves and I was like yo how do you know me like this like correct did you sit next to the bus driver your whole drive or I was standing there like yeah like people are bumping into you you was by the ticket machine with oh sorry yeah I was by the ticket machine but sad on his lap about I was like let me in let me in this little corner because now they're like super like closed with the window they're like locked in I haven't been on a bus in New York in a while yeah they're locked in like you they have to open a door inside to like get in bulletproof glass essentially it feel like a girl look like it but yeah that was my partner girl was like slay to him but I'm nervous you guys let me add a quick little high okay oh I didn't know yet another one yeah yeah all of our eyes are green yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah why don't you spark up why haven't you sparked I haven't smoked in two weeks and I'm scared if I smoke now that I'm gonna be like that's the point is what's funny that's why I got my shades one Mike doesn't have sunglasses he really fucked up the vibe girl I had sunglasses and then and then and then and then I had I had these prescription sunglasses that were like so nice and were there once I don't come for me bitch all right give me another hot girl that I'm about to smoke this week that you spoke in two weeks so I'm excited I was like what can't wait my friend give me a better let me let you understand I'm gonna let you I'm gonna let you encourage yourself okay are you sure I should say it is TV story yeah let's get ready for this one cuz we had a little sneak peek to this story on all my stories mm-hmm yeah so if you guys were wondering what happened at the massage and sauna spot and if you guys are having keeping up with the episodes we talked about keeping up with the proper whores so this is yeah this is an ongoing trend I've been dying for a happy ending like it's one of my fantasies like I literally like I'm so into it I would get and like this come today this moment confirmed how horned up I get your fantasy so Sunday I took the day to myself I was like I'm unplugging I deleted all my social media apps so now I was like you know what I haven't used any of my class passpoints quick plug I'm not working with them but I do have a little link in the description I think you get like 80 points for free so you're welcome and click it click it anyway so I booked this massage and I was like I want to do something extra so I booked a massage and they had a 40 minute in infrared it's infrared right yeah infrared it looks like infrared but anyway infrared sauna it's right for raw it's like my grandma my grandma that's friend she said that yeah my grandma always told me that anyway my mom my grandma my grandma anyway so I get this massage normally if you guys remember I like having male masseuses but since I've been booking through class pass I don't feel like I want to like call them like be particular and be annoying. Oh no. 

So it's been female lately, which is fine, but this lady had like very masculine hands. Like it just felt like when I get a male massage because her hands were like warm and big. And that's what I like about Mamazusa. 

Like they're not, you know what I mean? I'm imagining a buff ass woman. No, all the fucking places that I've been to here are very Asian. Like I feel like everywhere else that I've gotten massages from, they're always regular white American, can Tampa everywhere, but like here in New York, it's like that cliche. It's like that here too. 

We have a lot of time massage. So yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, and they get on top of you here, which I fucks with. So this bitch got on top of me, I fucks with it. She got in there everywhere. She was like, girl, she was in my booty and my thigh, blah, blah, blah. 

And when I get a massage, like I said, I get a little ones up and get a little, I start, not like, it's just like, it's easy for me to relax. And when I relax, I like to fantasize. This is me getting personal. Don't make fun of me right now. 

Does nobody- Do you ever mow like when you're getting a massage? No, no, no, I'm not like, I don't feel tingly in my doto yet. It's more of like my mind just like goes to like a fantasy. Oh my God. 

So that I could relax and like feel in the moment. You know what I mean? Like what if this happened? Like if it was- You're so lucky you don't have a penis. Oh yeah, but I mean, you want your stomach anyway, but yeah. Yeah, that's true. 

So the massage was over. I'm feeling great. I'm feeling so good, right? I have this fantasy in my head about this make believe person with, you know- She got smut in her brain. I just, I have a fantasy, no, at all times. I'm thinking about sex all the time. 

You knew some dick, girl. I thought I knew, everybody does, right? I don't think I think about it that often. Is that what it is? I believe you're a horny girl. 

I don't think about it that often, I'm butt, if you're not butt naked, getting a massage, you're not thinking about like, like what if I got dick down right now? You know, when I get my first massage, it probably is gonna be in my head cause now you've implanted it. Oh, you haven't gotten a massage yet? No, never, ever in my life. Every massage I've ever gotten, I always like go to this fantasy. Again, this is one of my kinks, like get the fuck out of my face. I need to go tell a massage, girl. No. This sounds good. 

Go ahead, go ahead. I don't know. You guys, let me know, make me feel better. Am I the only one who gets like this? Like, am I just like over sexualizing everything? Or like, do you also get fantasies in your head like that? Comment down below. 

Comment down below, you guys. Rate this episode five stars only. Anyway, I'm gonna try to stop saying anyway all the fucking time. Fuck. Anyway, yeah. So. I'm not gonna say anyway, anyway, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I didn't even know that. 

Okay. So, I get a misana. I'm nervy to say this. Let it go. Let it out. Let it out. 

I'm having a hard time. I don't know why I'm getting so nervous with you guys right now because like, not normally, I mean, we're only 12 episodes in. This is like a vulnerable thing that I'm saying. And I want everybody to feel like they took something away from this because I feel like there's some podcasters that like consider themselves like sex and relationship podcasters. And they act like their sex life is so good and very, very, very, I'm like, but like the likelihood of somebody have the most amazing sex life on this earth. Far-fetched. 

Right. So now it's sauna time. And the sauna is super solo. Like it's a very small sauna and they have like these curtains. So like it was very privacy and I could go in there naked. 

I didn't. I still had my thong on. And I was laying down. I was continuing my fantasy and my. And I was like, I was getting horny up to the, cause I was alone, right? And I was getting horny up and I was like, yo, I wish I had my vibrator. Cause I'm the type, which this is where I get really vulnerable, but I normally need a vibrator. Like I've, I'm not the type to use my own hand normally. And I feel like that's like a combination of a few things, including having nails, but I dev ass. So I can't do, no, yeah. So I can't do penetration in general cause I have nails, but I was like, you know what? Like let's just see where it goes. With just like flicking the beat. Let's explore this idea. 

So yeah, I literally got all. You explored your kid. And it was like one of. I literally did. I don't know. 

I was so shocked that I did something like that. I have never done something like that. Never. 

What are your thoughts? You feel empowered? No, I feel like I want to explore something that I always fantasize about now. I was thinking like the doctor. And then I was like, fuck no bitch. Like what do I do at the doctor? No, literally. 

That's why I was like, it was by myself. So it's like, I can explore this fantasy by myself. And I had just listened to a podcast episode where it was like, you need to master me more. 

And like, I, you know, I got off of birth control. So my libido, she's coming back. Like she's really, like if we thought if she was strong before. I didn't know what actually kills it. 

She's fair. You got a lot of side effects on birth control. Completely. Yeah, birth control, completely. I mean hormones in general for women, they completely run our lives. Who run the world hormones, like for real. 

So what I get from this is like, I feel like this is something you would share to a friend in secret, like on the phone at 3 a.m. when you're like, you're most vulnerable and I need to get a massage now. I need to experience the oil up my ass. 

So you would do that? You're lacking that shit. If you would, some lacking that shit. Would you do that though? Well, now that I have your fucking experience, that's the only thing I'm gonna think about one day. Oh, I haven't even finished the story. 

Cause how you implanted it. Cause then it goes low again. The story does get a little low because I think I'm a neem, it goes something. Somebody caught you. No, oh my God, can you imagine? I mean, who knows, like nobody could see in regards if they could hear me. 

I don't know. There's a camera in there. No, that would be illegal if there was a camera in there. 

But imagine me and Sweaty as fuck, you're all wet anyway. I was soaking wet from my sweat plus the oil. Like, and I'm just like, closing my eyes is hot. Something about being Sweaty just kind of makes me, like that's my hot yoga. Another fantasy of mine, like, I'm already sweaty, hot, ready to be slipping. It's not a girl. 

Is it every time you're sweaty? I need to understand your mind a little bit. So it's every time you're sweaty. Like, but it's that type of sweat. Like hot, you got a sweat King. You got a sweat fetish. It's infrared sauna sweat, like because of infrared yoga class. And I think it's because that type of sweat is the same type of sweat you release when you have sex because there's two types of sweats. I mean, you do get like dopamine in a rush of like adrenaline. So maybe your body associates that with sex. 

I don't know girl. I'll just be ready to. You're getting a sex therapist today. Hold on. Hey, let's go. 

But so yeah, I was also, I was dripping wet girl. I was in that thing for about 40 minutes. What else I'm gonna think about? And more ways than one. So I forgot that I had a tendency of passing out a lot. 

What the fuck? So I just took a turn. It took a turn. It took a turn. It's bad. 

So I, I got, I've gone out and I totally forgot that I passed out. So I didn't set up anything with knowing that I was gonna pass out, which now I'm moving forward. I'm gonna set everything up. What do you do? So you set up like a little. Somewhere to sit and where water could be easily. 

accessible when I'm about to pass out so when I know I'm about to pass out my ears ring so loud I can't hear anything I can't hear my breathing I can't hear any outside noise all I hear is my ears ringing and then I'm like I start to like lose consciousness I'm like I need to sit down right now anywhere anywhere anywhere and don't panic I was like don't pay like I have to remind myself not to panic because if I have a panic on attack on top of that I've never told me this yeah no I do this yeah I passed out like on the beach on a tram like a lot of places yeah it's weird at a concert is it random or just it depends on what it is it could end the shower like if it's too hot if I sweat a lot like in a shower like a sauna and I didn't eat or drink water like be prepped then yeah definitely like the beach it was because I hadn't eaten and I was hot and I was smoking a lot I think sometimes it's like panic attack induced like I get like if I'm like in claustrophobia then I start to panic to the point of like passing out mm-hmm yeah that's happened like on a tramway before you're like rabbits like rabbits when they get too scared they just literally like possums girl you are possible yeah I am a possum gotcha I'm gonna get that about a tad on me shout out to the rats girl not the trash racoon I'm sweaty as fuck I did this big thing I had a whole journey and then I passed out and then I couldn't even pour the water in the cup like they served cucumber water but I was drinking the cucumber water from the pitcher let me pour on me I was like I'm gonna die it was getting real comfortable girl yeah I lost consciousness a little bit so I like let myself fall asleep like fall asleep it's really like I'm dying like I lose consciousness for like I don't know how long honestly I'm just gonna pass out let me take a quick I don't know if it's a few seconds or a couple minutes I don't know and then I wake back up I'm able to drink water and then I'm like in and out and then I wake up so yeah I came I passed out and I got rubbed up one what else do you need for the day that's called me time that's called self care one more could you ask for perfect so yeah more of the story all fucking get yourself off because you can't be waiting on somebody else to get you off for somebody else to know your body more than you know your body and that's not my mom really realizing I feel a little too late but if you were late go ahead and take this message and you run and you know what you turn around you slap that ass and you say you go girl make that public space a safe space that's what masturbate masturbate in the safe space no seriously like set up your room listen to that porn audio and fucking let go and let God cuz he I love porn audio I love to smoke and then masturbate I just really get real visual you light a candle you could even put a little something sexy on and you fucking yeah I like you your own day Courtney Kardashian or something said there's a word for it but where you turn yourself on like the look of you turns yourself on I relate to that narcissism yeah yeah yeah that's what it is I literally need a mirror like I love a mirror I think this is a common illness with the influences you guys we're seeing that live in action keep talking I think I could diagnose you Chad you be T will diagnose I just think you're so fucking hot the diagnosis is real what can you do girl I was born this way I'm here falling away is got me some stay put your paws up monsters speaking of dirty girls let's talk about our queen the mother of all mothers a true mother miss Lady Gaga what is your golf no what is not again no Mia God cuz she is a mother fun fact about me a god she had child of Bubs baby was she pregnant in X and pearl like girl I don't know when she was pregnant but she had the baby in 2022 when like when did she have the time she was booked and busy girl she was booked and busy and when did he have the time cuz he was with FKA twigs so what and he was in that lawsuit for hitting her shia hmm where you were he was hit and miss me a god's pussy let's clap if he should suffer inside this pussy he should go ahead and live down there man this was put it up shallow buffing all the Jews out there I love you look I love you shallow buffing auto juice shout out to y'all love your vibe love everything you represent anyway now love me that's why I love you because you look like a Jew now don't stop it's not an insult type of day no I love the way I love like curly-headed brown like brown-haired curly-headed boys I want that Jewish man that was dancing on tiktok that I sent you it's what I want it's what I need he just did a soft launch with a girl I thought he was gay but he's actually oh that was fake he planned it no it's me and him forever I was like how you know girl I was looking in the comments the best comment no literally I was like how anyway so Mia God the dirtiest whore of all whores we love her she's a proper whore she is she listens speaking to listening I listen to you and I actually watch the wreck that you told me to watch okay I said I listen to you so now listen to me it's a tip for time okay I watched X I loved it I feel like keep cutting did so good compared to like I don't know if I was in and out of sleep or like maybe I turned my head I didn't see the dick I was looking oh my god it was like dancing his knees bitch I imagine it that way too everybody everybody I want to be a movie star I'm a fucking sex symbol that's what she said when she was like well she's from Texas so I was like you can't fight the half you can't fight instinct you lost Southern bail from the UK oh my god bitch when Miss Jenna or Teja was I reaching out and they don't understand him sad the way he's not tough fingers he's not tough fingers he said that girl staying side I just didn't expect it there was so many like like really quick moments like the alligator what what well did you watch Pearl no I didn't I feel like the first one had like shock factor scenes a lot yeah I mean she was killing everybody I had shock factors I was like damn him too like that was I don't know where to like you would expect to build up to the death it was like everybody it started off for her killing a swan girl and feeding it to her gator she loved that gator girl that's her she fed oh she's fed mad it's like a family it's a family pet but so I'm pearl okay so let's bring it back so Pearl is the second movie to the X series with Mia got the first movie was really good Mike explained it last episode where it was about filming a porno in the 70s in Texas yeah which is the gist of that but one of the best parts about that movie is that storyline so Pearl since it's about Pearl when she was young as Mia God it's more about like her growing up in the country that acting a that acting up she eats everything up she gave this fucking I thought she was a real grandma she is so good Pearl is about how she grew up so you see her mom was like a bitch and then she kills him like she kills everybody like her mom hates her because she knows that she kills everybody so I know what you do after dark I know what you do when no one's watching and she was like am I crazy? Okay so this bitch is crazy. She's crazy and she switches up. I thought she snapped in her earpicks. No. 

She's crazy throughout and everybody knows it. And she was like did I make you mad or something? Did I make you uncomfortable? And then she comes back and kills them. Oh and like remember the, remember there was scene, so there was a few scenes from the first movie that they connected to the second movie. So remember the scene in the first movie when Kid Cudi was in the water and he saw that car. Remember he was looking for Pearl with Old Dude and he saw that car in the water. That story comes out, do you want me to tell you it? Yeah. Let me know. 

She was cheating on her man when he was in a war, because remember they talked about the war, war, war. He was off to war. And two wars, yeah. Which I think it's cool that they kind of talk about like war culture and like wearing a mask. That's another thing that they talk about a lot. 

Because like it was wearing a mask then, whatever war that was, for the Spanish plague. So I don't even know. Maybe that was during the same time. Some sort of play. There's a lot of wars. 

And her mom hated her and she was like, you can't go nowhere, blah, blah, blah. She was like, I'm more than this farm. I'm more than this farm. 

And she wanted to be a star. Which is why it was connected to, because you know, Naxx. She wanted to be a poor star. Naxxing was like, I want to be a fucking star. Like I'm a fucking six. A fucking six symbol. Right. 

So then she killed everybody. She killed her mama. She killed her daddy on some crazy shit. Oh, I was telling you about the car. Sorry. 

So she was cheating on old dude. But do they show the old one? Like the young guy? Or the old guy young? Yeah, they show everybody young and the guy she cheated on old dude with is fine. And that was a big thing that I pointed out. I was like, he is my type right now. He is my type right now, but they didn't show them having sex. 

And I was so upset. But he got that little mustache. That little... Wait, is she the one that she's screaming? I want to be a fuck. I want to be a star. 

Is she screaming to him? No, she was screaming to... Who was she screaming to? Mr. Pearl. No, because Mr. 

Pearl came at the end after it. When he came at the end, she had her dad and mom placed at the dinner table dead with like a dead pig. And he walked in and he was like... And she looked over and she was like, I'm so happy you're here. And she's smiling for like, literally like through the credits. And I'm like, that's amazing. I think they used that as like the poster for the movie actually. 

Yeah, she was so good. But she killed the guy she cheated on Jit with because she switched up and she was like, what's wrong with her? He was like, you're scaring me. And he's like walking to her car and she was like, I'm more than this. Fuck! And like fucking kills him with like a pitchfork. 

I'm gonna watch the movie girl. You convinced me to watch it. Honestly, yeah, it was pretty, it was good to like connect at all because now I definitely want to see the third one. So if you guys are interested, there is a third one that's gonna come out. They just announced it. 

It's called Maxine, which is about the first girl in the porn star. Well, that makes me think that in the third one, she's actually crazy. So she's gonna become crazy like Pearl because she wants to become... I wanna be a star! I think the whole connection is youth and stardom. 

And it's a sickness because you want it forever on some small town shit. And it's how like small town people find the admirable and like, do you know what I mean? Because she's also a small town girl from like a small town in Texas as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. 

You know, I didn't really think of any deeper meanings in the movie because I was just watching it for what it is. I know, that's what you do for phase value. To be honest, I've been like interpreting a lot of movies. Let me spell it out. I've been interpreting a lot of movies lately. I've been interpreting a lot of movies lately. But not this one. This one I took for phase value. 

I watched it as it is. No, I was into it. Especially because there's a... And Mia Goth was part of the writing for the second one. Okay. 

So Maxine, she's gonna be a producer. She's gonna do something else then. I feel like Maxine is gonna get her stardom that Pearl did it. I think she's gonna eventually go crazy and she's gonna have the same thing that Pearl did. And that's what it is. 

She escaped, right? But somebody's gonna have to kill somebody. Somebody's definitely gonna have to die. Hopefully there's more titties involved though. Because Lord knows we like to see him. I wanna see the Koochi this time too. 

If the directors are listening, and I know they are, take note. Shout out to our sponsors, A24. But letting us watch the movie early, we saw Maxine. You guys, we saw it. We don't wanna spoil it though. Maybe it's between the next week and we'll do it in a little bit of a way. We'll leak the script. But no, yeah. 

Both of those highly recommend. Anything when Mia got recommend. We talked about Infinity Pool in one of our earlier episodes. So, good peep day. Oh my god. 

I forgot though. There was a scene. So remember in X where she was like, remember, she's so horny. She just wants to be fucked and was his name, don't wanna fuck her or whatever. That started in the beginning. She's been a horny fucking bitch. Okay. 

And when he was off in the warm, she was like, I wanna be digged down. So bad. So she saw a scarecrow. No. 

And she said, because I wrote down notes and I said, Mia I said, Mia, writing the scarecrow is me every night. She literally took the scarecrow down and wrote it. Country girls make doom. Literally me and the sauna. 

The city girls also do the same. City girls be night girls. So... 

Now I need to watch for that. I need to see how she fucks. Don't tell me how she fucks him. I don't wanna know the position. 

I'm gonna let that surprise. No, they didn't show. That's what I needed. You gotta be fucked up. That's probably why the whole movie was just going off for me because the one guy they should have showed us her fucking, there was nothing. And he was so funny. 

They left it up to interpretation for no fucking reason. I know it. But yeah, so that was what I had to say about that. To expect disappointment. I would be treated. 

That's what I'm saying. It's not sexy, unless you're gonna find her fucking the scarecrow sexy. But that's on you. 

Watching it for maniac then. I know I need to because that's with her and her baby daddy. So I gotta see that chemistry. Or suspiria. Dostromia! What? No, I mean, I mean, I mean. 

Why do I feel like this? What's wrong with me? You used to say all the time. Oh, I want to talk about Swarm really quick. A few things. 

If you were listening last week. Yeah, so I finished it. If you were listening last week, Mike completely missed the Billy episode. It was episode four. She was literally everywhere in the episode. Like she was the main character in the episode. I don't know if I missed her or if I missed the episode. I would never know. 

I took a picture and sent it to you. I was like, this was her and you were like, I don't remember her. Yeah. Fan culture completely scares me now. It does leave you with that effect that you explained where it's like, holy fucking shit. 

I'm thinking about all the things I've ever said. I'm so scared of stan culture. It's like, it's insane. They fucking die for their idols, bitch. They'll do anything. 

What do you think the end interpreted? I feel like. You think she killed her friend? And I think she killed Niaja. Yeah, I think she killed both of them actually. That's how I interpreted it. 

I think she killed her friend and then when she went to go get Niaja, they killed her. I think that was her dying. When the security went to go get her, I felt like something happened. And that's when she died. 

Cause the way Niajia turned into her sister. Oh, like she's meeting God. Yeah, like she was associating God with her sister and those were the two people she was obsessed with. 

But security there don't, I don't think there was shoe. No, I mean not shoe, but who knows? Like maybe choke out, maybe she had a heart attack. Who knows? It was just serving death to me because then Niajia's face. Oh, maybe she died from happiness. Like she reached her goal. Finally, like touch Niajia. Yeah. Okay. 

It was on some crazy shit though. Like that was such a good series. I don't know why it took me so long. 

There's a new series that's going to be my record for next week, probably that I'll let you man on next week. You guys, we have the best racks. If you guys didn't know every fucking week we provide you, but our taste phenomenal. It's literally, it sets the tone. 

We're trend setters. We're called trailblazers. We set the bar. Right. 

The bar is here. And so are we. So tune in every fucking week. We literally do research for you guys. We're like, Oh, we got to watch this. We got to watch this so that we can bracket to our proper horse. 

So you're welcome. So keep up. Watch the racks. 

Anyway, are we going to the topic? You guys. The 420 inspired topic. We got our 420 inspired topic. We're doing blunt rotation. Like we're so excited. So this episode is going to talk about who we would want to have in our smokes ish. Like who do we want to pass the blunt to? Who do we want there? Who do we want there? Kind of why? And yeah, we getting into it. 

We just vibing out. We freestyling it. And we getting into it. If we're for real, if we keep it a buck with y'all, we had so many technical difficulties tonight that it's taking us. Oh my god. 

Girl, we've been here for about, now it's two hours. Yeah, not two hours. It feels longer. Wait a minute. I like that, girl. No, it does. 

And the vibes are positive still. So we want to appreciate it. The vibes are immaculate. 

So get high with us. Also, we want to hear y'all's blunt rotation. So if you see the text box, definitely put your blunt rotation in there. 

Of course. We need to know. And with an explanation. And when I imagine our blunt rotation, I do imagine us together with these people. 

I want to make that clear. So one person I thought I was Kodak Black. A bitch, of course. 

Have you seen that video of his like, my name Kodak but when you see me, I'm white. I know he was high doing that. Highest, but he was smoking. No shirt on, just chains. 

And it's a white guy. And his whole thing is like doing awkward interviews. And then he's Kodak kept singing. He was like, my name Kodak Black. When you see me, I ain't white. 

And one of their friends was like, I have to show you. It was so funny. I was like, hey. 

There's a turn? I got to say that. It's one of the best interviews I've ever seen of Kodak Black. This is when I got to have him there. 

Speaking of Kodak Black and him being high in a video, then I would add Miley Cyrus because of that. Oh my god. The Salvia video that came out. What's Salvia video? When we were in high school, there was a video of Miley Cyrus smoking a bong and it was Salvia. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And she was so like, oh my fuck. You know, literally, I remember that. We were all like, that's crazy. I wasn't even eight. It was so shocking back then. But now it's inspirational. Miley Cyrus, Kodak Black. 

Yeah, let's build this room up and then we'll build another room, right? Oh, OK. This is like we're making chat room. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. 

Filling the chat room. OK, we're making our real life. The block rooms, the proper block rooms. The hot boxes. No, literally proper box. The proper boxes. 

I love it. OK, we got Kodak. We got Miley. Who else to fit into this room? I feel like Martha needs to be there. What? Miss Martha. Why not? Of course, she brings with her Snoop Dogg. Who else? Her bestie. Who else? That's her hubby. The duo that never split. Her work husband. Shut up, Miss Martha. 

This would be such a weird ass room now that I think about it. Like, what do these people talk about together? A lot. They'll talk about smoking weed. All these people got smoking weed in common. 

That's a fact. Absolutely. Martha Stewart blazes. Oh. Of all, her bestie is Snoop Dogg. Like, you have to. 

She rad with the pen. I would ask Martha about Gio. It's a must. 

Like, how was it? Gio is so scary to me. Did you enjoy it? Gio is so scary. One of my biggest fears is Gio. Oh, I thought you were telling me that you went to Gio and it was scary. I was like, when? When did you go to Gio? Girl, oh my god, no. I would die if I went to Gio. Like, I'd be so scared. I would be terrified. 

Blood rotation with the girls from Orange is the New Black. Yeah. Ruby, what's the name? Ruby Rose. But the girls from Orange is the New Black, but the characters. Girl. OK, so what's the name? Crazy Eyes. 

We're smoking in the kitchen. Who is that? That whole era of Orange was the New Black. Oh my god, I was obsessed. Obsessed. 

That era was like everything. Bitch, I wanted to go to Gio. Like, what the fuck? I wanted to be lesbian. Every girl wanted to be lesbian because of that. What's that girl's name? Ruby Rose. Yeah. 

Not Amber. Amber too, but. What happened to her? She kind of did. She fell off. I thought about her. I was like, yo, Ruby Rose really fell off. 

Like, what happened to her? Maybe she was free. She was on top of the world. She was on top of the world for a second. She was never gay. That's what it is. 

She was a fraud. She lied. She lied. Clap if she should suffer. Light up if she should suffer. Girl, when we were on the phone earlier, I was thinking. I don't know why I was thinking like, I want to smoke with the Michelin man. I don't know. There's 

something. He just seems so happy, so giggly. Well, that's the case. I want to smoke 

with the Chick-fil-A cows. Girl, you can. Sneaking animals. Watch out. Who you want to 

smoke with? Who you want to say? I want to make Nala into a human being and smoke with that person. If Nala was a human, what race would she be? Oh, I mean, the race. Of course, Dallas. Beyonce, category, race. Beyonce, 

Nala. Of course, that's what I see her as. I do. And especially when they 

did The Lion King and they made Beyonce's voice Nala's voice. Like, I always imagined Nala to have a deep voice. Oh, you was dead at that scurril. I've always sounded like 

Beyonce. And acted like Beyonce, like Diva, like Diva. Like, when I think of Diva, I think of Beyonce and Nala's a Diva. And I felt like she'd be like, mama, come over here. Let me try to be Beyonce. Alexis has a black lab as a dog, if further. Not that we're connected. Not that I imagined 

her to have a black woman's voice, but it just automatically, I just thought of a strong, empowering woman that I respect. And then it just thought of Beyonce. I imagine Nala different. I imagine her as maybe like looking like a girl that's similar to Maddie from Euphoria. Your dog, Latina. She looks Latina. I mean, she bilingual. She is Latina. New York from Flavor of Love. Gotta be in the blunt rotation. Oh, yeah, yeah, no, 

yeah. Let's bring us back. I was like, what was we talking about? Yeah, so new room. New York and pumpkin. 

Pumpkin. Pumpkin from Flavor of Love, the one that spit on her. Yes. Oh my god. Let's hash that out. 

A reunion. OK, then we also have Judy from Bad Girls Club Season 7, I think, along with the girl that told her ass up. The way we was obsessed with Bad Girls, we were obsessed. The way they fought, the way I wanted to be on that show. The way I wanted to be on that show was scary. Scary. When I rewatched it 

recently, I noticed like how drunk the girls are because now I drink. They were all fucked up. Yeah, they were so fucked up all the time. Just like not making sense. And they're young. 20s, early 20s. Oh my god. I 

feel like it takes advantage of people, but it doesn't matter. Yeah, I mean, that's reality TV in general. Anyway, speaking of reality TV, let's do TikTokers. I think we already 

got a secretary Joe, of course. Terry Joe, she got to be there. I wonder if Terry Joe smokes. Does a good Christian girl smoke. Oh, we got to 

ask her. Miss, Miss Alex. Miss Alex. Gay news. In the newYou're right. bitch she was saying 

the most off random shit like say it as a fruit door I wonder what she was saying we literally she want that mule mule I literally just say random things that she has said in multiple videos and pray somebody gets it no literally pray for the best so them two in a yeah no tic-a-tacas are coming to mind like when I think it's really just them two that I like me Jesus me and Jesus you know what I would have the the cast of proper podcast the cat yeah so Jesus Gandhi thrown together in the room with Pearl autumn why haven't we talked about yes we could have Mia and Shia and FK twigs and let's see what's popping let's see what the drama is all about let's add let's open up and Wendy Williams you know why not okay let's do Mia to lead the combo let's do Mia and Wendy because me and Wendy Wendy would be like why you look like that why your eyebrows look like that clap if you like her look who here likes to look nobody does and why you got your nipples out that's what I thought let's unpack that so we're gonna have Wendy Mia got along with what's the name from ma bitch Octavia Spencer or the the character from mom from ma no no the actress speaking of that fucking our best friend Megan girl we've been put Megan in that mix and don't forget why not bring in Aubrey Plaza we know that's a new room I forget I'm forgetting how many people are in this room we got a lot we just added but if we had Aubrey we need somebody that we want to make we want Aubrey to make them feel uncomfortable the church leaders of the Westboro Baptist church got you the ones that go to with the signs God hates bags then what's their story what's the story what's that all about bring it back let's bring it back to the start what's a bag with the one if Jesus was real he was smoked weed if Jesus was real Corinthians second dick as well come on now what else was we doing in them he was he was bisexual yeah that's in the old and I hope my own sexuals you remember that part that part in girls and I heard my own sex it's quoted on a day I love that part oh my god I'm showing my age with that what the new gen don't know don't watch me girls I don't think I feel like it's a classic for our time I think they watch me girls the way we would watch like Titanic maybe oh my god they see it as an old movie they see a lot of things as old girl like Lady Gaga run down old oh my gosh use the Madonna for them crazy isn't that crazy oh no I need to end my life soon so are we putting Gaga rotation of course Gaga and Madonna in the rivals these freaks the shit they fun to say to each other I just feel they have some I'm gonna go to exact talking about art would be really fun to watch bye yeah right because they would be really passionate about it and she would be listening to him you know oh my god I want I would pay to see this interaction like I just have no idea what would come out and I feel it would probably relate in so many ways that we're like like what's going on and the fact that they were relating there's no difference honestly though and I would be smoking what about Mia and Aubrey what about Aubrey and Megan yes the connection would be there I feel it something's bound to spark up to spark up with Megan's in the room no matter what I was smoking Megan actually I wouldn't smoke away Megan alone I wouldn't yeah really want to dive Megan and Chad from Chad GPT robot Megan and the robot from iRobot Megan and Will Smith what could go on with these go ahead and throw Chris Rock in there and see what happens that you're gonna say Chris Brown I was like what's going to dance for him I want to see see my mom smoke weed at some point in my life but I don't think she can handle it but I want to see her laugh like I want to see the good parts of that oh my god no my mom would have a panic attack girl you would fucking lose it girl when we were starting the first blunt rotations I was like should I talk about my dad cat smoking with him yeah I was like maybe it's too soon let's resurrect that I wonder what I would imagine him be he would just be mysterious to me but all cats are mysterious he serves Scorpio energy to me he has my same personality like if he doesn't want to be with you he's not gonna do it that's not gonna let it happen right that's how football Scorpio yeah but sadges and Scorpios are quite similar that's why I always thought you was a Scorpio mmm my grandma's a Scorpio hmm I don't think my cat would be a ginger in real life he's a orange cat for y'all don't know yeah I don't think he would be ginger either I imagine him like he's definitely white then he's tan white I imagine him like dark like dark dark hair with like that 70s cut that all the Gen Z your boys are doing now you're out mother like like where it's split down the middle and it's like oh you know those guys not being a model he's kind of fat y'all too so any users low key my therapist Melinda oh right she's gonna get real with you she would judge me she hates it I smoke I'm smoking at the Statue of Liberty you know stories girl I'm smoking with the cast of Jersey Shore what down don't talk to me the way it's walking to me gonna get you asked me if you say something else you're gonna get you asked me and I'm gonna get you asked me yo J-Woww is my everything the fight that went down in Miami was to I was smoking them on the Miami season hell yeah no Miami was it that's when that's when she said you're gonna get you asked me you're gonna get you asked me that's when she said that's Angelina Angelina yeah Angelina Queen Queen autumn the stand-in-the-fairy Sammy dear Sammy we saw wrong making out with that girl I can't believe they wrote a letter and she was like they were like she's never gonna know who it is girl there's not that many of y'all I started rewatching Jersey Shore kind of recently and I was like this shit is so funny like that's crazy how funny it was before I had another group that was drunk all the time drunk all the time that's all they were known to do I would definitely if we do yeah we talking about cast definite but you wouldn't relate to this but we're a house was when of New York like love to smoke with them do I know anybody on there like is there anybody that's just one go ahead so what's your reasoning they some old hats it would just be so funny like they just be talking shit and they old and they New York so they just have so much money and they just been talking about their wealth and it's just gonna be funny I'm for the smoke when Nini leaks that oh yes let's bring the whole literally with the white refrigerator girl we're gonna find you a home this girl got this girl posted on tiktok she got like a pen holder and it's a it's a fridge and it says girl we gotta find you a home or right refrigerator and I want to go get it it's on Etsy and it was fucking sold out I would smoke with myself I would smoke with myself that's good that's a good one yeah like I'm thinking outside the box I like that box that you're right that the other boxer is just too cuz that's like I love that you jumped boxes loving I love jumping I'm wondering like what shit me and myself would actually get up to like we're gonna read the tarot cards of course of course play around that take a walk take a walk with myself chase the moon with myself I mean I actually do that on it on a nightly but smoking with myself like having a conversation with myself which I actually do nightly as well but but like real life I Openly talked to myself around the house cuz I get all the time girl I have a mirror in front of my couch and I'd be like girl Well girl you basically smoke with yourself anyway, yeah honestly, I'd be looking in the mirror all the time That us oh girl Alex Cooper would love to have her in a blood rotation. Let's do her with her ex with her ex co-host Let's unpack that I want to hear about all that scandal the betrayal Oh, we could also have giggly squad on that bitch. That would be funny. They would be like you guys are copying us. Oh my god We're actually suing you guys. Oh My god, totally 

forgot Motherfucking Julia Fox love her to pieces. Oh my god, bitch. And we're smoking in her apartment with the rats in her child And I feel like that with her guests right? I also want em rata in there. Yeah Oh my god, I just want that noise in the background. I do yeah, she 

changed it. It's not on there anymore Well, thank you. She got a new editor. I want to add 

Charlie XCX to that room I feel like Julia Fox Charlie XCX and Sophie we bring a Sophie back from the dead Sophie back from the dead How does that be Julia Fox and Sophie? They would literally but Sophie and Charlie also have like their musical shit that they can sing yeah, like yeah In Julia's apartment girl. Yes. Oh my god. It's my time. That's a really good 

You know who I just wanted to add to that Gwen Stefani for some reason Oh Gwen Stefani pink Brittany and all those pop girlies back early 2000 them yeah Christina Aguilera Mariah Mariah Carey. Oh my god, how bitchy would she be she'd be like I'm coughing What does she hate so much? Who was somebody that she hated everybody? She hated everybody wouldn't you? Put them in the room one time when I was in an interview mission rose I was wrong that bitch fucking crack it oh But she um she was like they were like how do you feel about Mariah and she was like who I love I never heard that name I never heard her that's exactly what she said. I'm a she rest may she rest Destiny's child. Have you seen that interview where destiny shot there? Oh my god. What would you be? 

I will be a bird. That's the type of Nala. I imagine is high beyond say which was in destiny shot I would be a bird. I would be a whale. I love the whales. I've always loved whales The way they like that too I would be a black Panther I was like this bitch is fucked up. Yeah, they would do 

this. They took edibles They took Eddie's right probably right after like performing or some shit like they was tired. They was suited. Oh my god Oh 

my god, you know, I just thought of Hmm. Hi. Oh my god. Yes, and they're playing 

the instrument. They're playing all the shit. They're playing that one live But I love that live session We're gonna do hi with Taylor Swift because they're friends anyway might as well Only old songs no new shit only 1989 is only album I know from her We never go You got them long country accent She's singing You hear them notes y'all y'all here in a minute. She gave it honestly when we hear back the record sometimes I'm like, hmm Hold on. Let me sign a record. Let me sign a little record. They like and we be making this on proper We've been making this song you hear that That's a note producers creators writers singers anything Podcasts we forgot the main one. Oh and I'm a researcher. I got a master's 

degree for their I'll tell you for y'all that oh my god, you know who? Queens gambit when she's fucked up with the Quay lose also. Yeah, and we're playing chess Yeah, we play chess she's gonna teach us how to play chess who we finna have an hour who else? You know what? I feel like could I gotta be in that room again? Because he Chess would be so funny to me She finna be explain it to him like and she finna be high and she finna be high and titties finna be on the table. Oh my god Only her Who else finna be who who else we want to learn to play chess? Give me a second. You saying I'm too fast. Oh, I'm by I 

keep smoking this out of habit and I'm like Yeah, I'm like thinking all these people now now I'm like The nuns the the nuns that smoke weed Yes, this is of the valley sisters of the valley with Aubrey with them bitches and Aubrey like that interview that they had girl Yeah Jennifer Coolidge. Oh my god, Jennifer Coolidge and Reese with a spoon bring them all in literally big little eyes and And white lotus together all everybody in both cast those two all them But I want to smoke with the girls like the girls the big little eyes Yeah, yeah, the lesbians for my lotus season one no season two the girl they're not lesbians. They were whole the horse The horse the proper horse proper. They listen to the pod. They do send us messages. They show you the 

hyam Yeah, oh my god, you know, I just thought of who Nicki Minaj Nicki Minaj in her super bass era absolutely. There's no other era Have you heard of doja cat? That's my shit I'm smoking with Lord like Lord and Adele's gonna be there. I don't know why they both have to be there It just feels right What about Lord and Adele talk about like Adele's gonna be talking about some real Realistic shit and Lord's gonna be talking about the spirituality of the Sun like I don't even know what Lord would talk about in general though You know No Well, obviously getting too suited to proper happy you guys so I think it's I think this is a good off point Oh my god, I didn't realize we record for so long, but so thank you for getting not proper high with us Oh, I hope you let up especially this week You definitely need to light up if you don't light up partake in another vice of yours But do something to treat yourself today is a treat yourself episode. You better masturbate you better smoke And you better do something good for you. You got the inspiration here now you you heard it. You heard it This 

is gay news gay no listen up anyways be beautiful always and As always all of our links are in the description. We have a few codes for you guys We're not gonna list them all because we have so many. It's crazy. It scares me to 

be still But you could peep them all in the description Along with where you can find us. I am at thank you. Lux. Mike is at Mike 

Kandoff We are the proper podcast on Instagram and just proper podcast on tiktok and You can find us every mother effing Wednesday. We love you I hope you guys let go let God and let the smoke hit your lungs and let yourself Oh smoke and come today. That's the message we're sending if you do one thing today is Is that well two things? That's all you gotta do Do it at the same time and then you won't even notice that is what is to it just this one smoke and a pussy When I went to that We always we always drag out We don't want to let you guys go we literally just can't stop talking to you guys like we love you so much We're happy to be here. Let's get proper to be here. Let's get happy to be queer And this is the proper goodbye you later guys