Episode 8

 Hey guys, welcome back to the off duty podcast. I'm your host Alexis.

 And your co-host Mike. Bonjour everybody.

 Bonjour! We're in France. Mike didn't even warn me about the beret thing. Like I have one, but it's in New York. So I can't even twin with him right now. 

Girl, literally came to me like a vision. I felt like Raven for a moment. 

No you really did. 

For a moment. Oh I'm feeling, I'm feeling French. Oui Oui bitch. Baguette . 

Bissou. Bonjour. Bonjour. How's everybody feeling? It's our two month anniversary. What are you guys doing? Get the drinks ready. Let's drink. Drink, drank, drunk.

 No, literally. I love that you remember that shit. Cause I don't. It's already been two months. Isn't that crazy? 

Yeah girl. Let's get the views to show like it's been two months. Let's, yeah. Yeah, like you guys aren't listening enough. 

Send it, send us to your friends, your mamas. Your grandma, your dog. Post us on your story. You'll get a little, a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little story. You'll get a little, a little air kiss. 

I'll send you a dollar. 

You know what?

 I'll pay for my shout-outs, baby. 

We might. No, honestly, we have our consistent viewers that I love. We can see it. We see who's seeing. We see it. We see it. Y'all out here. 

We've been known to see. We've been known to see cause I got glasses on if you guys didn't know. Oh, fuck it. 

Glasses on. Glasses on. Fuck it. Glasses on. 

Seriously, you guys are amazing. And if you haven't voted on Spotify or Apple, please do. And if it's not a five star review, you can go fuck off. Okay. Don't leave it. I hope you guys voted for the next candidate voting seasons around. That's not the type of podcast we're here to run, but when the season is around, we're definitely going to. 

No comment. We're just going to say go vote. Mike. Mike's like European now. He said that. That guy doesn't want me. Absolutely. 

I'm not coming back to the States. Girl, goodbye.

 You come into New York. 

Get the fuck out of my face. Go ask your tarot cards.

 Your tarot cards said you was coming. What is he talking about? Multiple. 

They give a maybe. 

Here he go. Here he go.

But let's jump into it. How are we feeling with our lows? 

Girl, the lows is low in this week. The lows is definitely trying to overpower me. I had therapy today, so I'm turning my shit around. I kind of like having recording days on therapy days. 

Maybe I don't. Well, let's see. 

Let's try today. Let's see how you feel. Let's see how that was so good. Let's take the experiment. 

Okay. My low. I'm going to be one that while with y'all. I'm not really going to tell y'all what my real low is. So one day we'll get personal enough where we just really don't care. 

But for now my low is that there's mad pollen in Florida. I'm still in Florida. And it's pollen season and it's in my throat and my nose and my ears and my pussy. It's everywhere. 

It's drying you out. Drying me out. Like I want to call you. 

Well, you're about to get impregnated with all that pollen. 

Is that what? What does that mean?

 Pollen is how they impregnate other plants. So if it's in your pussy. 

What? Girl, the way I didn't know that. 

Let's crack a book. This episode, that might be your next recommendation. A book. Okay. You know what's weird?

 You know what's funny? Remember last week how you asked me how you didn't know that the earth orbited around the sun?

 I did know. I was talking about the moon. 

But maybe you should check your IMDB personality test. 

Exactly. With the dumb shit you be saying, girl. Actually, I really did not know that pollen was the semen of nature. That's why I'm allergic to a girl. 

You're allergic to cum too. Of all types. 

Anyway, so yeah, that's my low and we're sticking to it. 

Well, let me jump into mine, which honestly is another not big one. But it's been like super snowy for the past two days. I believe two days because now it's been 48 hours since I've left my apartment. I haven't thrown out the trash. I haven't gotten food. I just haven't left. I left the door today.

 Has everybody in Sweden lived that life? Because in New York, people be outside no matter what. No, I think it's the same here. 

But the only shoes I wear in my air max is and they're not snow built. 

You gotta fix that, babe. 

I have Doc Martens, but they don't fit the style I wear now. You know, a new style, a new cuts, a new color. That's what I need to get. 

Homeless. 

No, absolutely bitch. But it's too cold to serve anything else. I have so many like nice outfits, but they're made for the spring or the summer.

 I feel that girl. I feel it. But you gotta be outside. You know yourself. You need to be outside so you need to get some fucking outside shoes so you can take a walk or something. 

Like you ain't even taken out the trash.

 I know. 

Like come on now. Like that's on you. 

Well, I'm going to go after this and throw out my trash. Maybe I'll take a walk. You know what? But I have to clean my apartment because... 

Girl, take the walk. It's a fucking studio. 

I'm going to do both, but I have to clean it because the roach people are coming tomorrow in the morning. So I have people coming in to put like poison for roaches.

 I hate that you call it roach people rather than just pest control girl. 

Girl, well they're here for the roadshes. That's what they said in the newsletter. The roaches. roaches. Anyway, so yeah, my low has been... Actually, I had like a really low, low, low, low day on Monday, but I think the vitamins and like the morning routine. 

That's some annoying news for you guys. Yeah. Actually stretching, taking vitamins and taking care of yourself does make you feel better. 

News alert, news alert, news alert. Exclusive. Off Duty exclusive. All of the exclusive. Yeah, my... Damn. Honestly, I'm tired of you. Like every week. I listened to last week's episode today, obviously, because it came out today for us. And we literally was like, oh, I think I'm done with my spiral. Monday comes, boom, crashed.

 I think it's been three weeks in a row where I'm like, the spiraling is done. Winter season's over. 

Because you literally are like down for 20 minutes and you're like, oh, I hate everything. And then you're up for like literally 10 minutes and you're like, I've been great this whole time. Like you literally... You need to keep a journal. I'm telling you. I have. 

I journal every day. I'm like, I'm done with my spiral. 

So don't lie to the ODB's don't lie to yourself. 

I will show you the dates the dates and I have the time Let me see you hold up Wednesday March 1st Friday March 3rd. 

You already lied girl Cut it out. 

My day March 6th. I'm supported March 7 March 8th. 

That's fine. You just don't sort of it I least do the mood tracker every day. 

That's why we're friends. You know what you guys I'm gonna make it on the note on the next notion calendar that I'm coming out with if you guys if you guys Are into notion and need a template you can find it in my link in bio It's only three dollars right now, and then I have another one coming out and they're only gonna get more expensive so Watch out. 

You're a true notion. Yes. Yeah, you got a click a notioner. 

I was a notionista 

a notionista That's a lot. That's gonna be my stage name Yeah No, she needs to the floor 

Anyway, let's jump into the high girl go ahead. How you been feeling how this week? What got you feeling up to the moon? 

Guys we've discovered that we're singers Like yeah, honestly, like Redacted That was a really good rewind 

What got me really high really horny I feel like I took a line before this episode or something I feel real high 

I like how you hopped on this call You brought in the energy because I was like, I hope he got it because I'll show them I'll tell you why when we get into it. Okay, maybe it's the topic. Maybe it's something else. Maybe she took speed. 

We'll see anyway She died 

Okay, what got me super high this week was that I had my first foot massage Which you would think that I would try that for the first time in New York because there's so many like little massage parlors that you would think are happy ending places But my cousin she was like Kevin had a foot massage and my mom's been like raving about it Mind you she hasn't had it yet, but my mom likes her feet to be rubbed and I was like No, let's go. It's one of those spots where they look like those happy ending spots like 

mmm blacked out windows

 And I've always wanted to see what it looks like in these spots I walk in and I should is nice I always thought they were gonna be like run down The ratchet the ghetto girl white refrigerator No, no, it was nice that a chandelier as soon as 

Don't get me singing. I was very I was so Don't get me singing here I go 

You walk in chandeliers there they they greet you quick and it's not like rooms that you go in it Just like beads that are separating each chair like a bead wall

 like a nail salon how they have separate chairs 

separate chairs But they are like beds and apparently this spot isn't as good as other spots up my cousin because my cousin gets these done often 

Connoisseur 

she's an entrepreneur, so she likes to do a lot of stuff She's a queen 

Take note

 take note you guys No, honestly, I'm gonna start going to get these done especially because I feel like New York might have some cheap ones But anyway, so you go in the lighting is like moody like a spa should be and like I said, it's not rooms but like whatever you lay down and I thought I was gonna be able to like read my Kindle and just my feet massaged kind of like the nail salon in a bit No, that man took my glasses off. He said we going on He took my glasses off he put a blanket over my head. He said you need to relax 

Why are you laying down for a foot massage? 

That's what I thought I was like cuz my back kind of hurt like the thick girls know that you can't really we can't lay on Our back unless the feet is up like, you know what I mean, so 

even me cuz I got a fat 

Yeah, you do got a fat ass and a fat I'm happy. What's y'all y'all in the later episode? You guys somebody needs to gift Mike some gray sweatpants so we can really see the friends. 

I actually have anyways, so Go ahead

 So he started massaging me. 

He's going ham on your shit. 

Yeah, he going him So at first he started on my chest and I was like, oh we start and I was I thought this was a foot massage girl I Don't know if you guys know but your feet have like the nerve endings, you know, just like your pussy Do me so that ass I was thinking about one and one That ass and it's crazy cuz like I don't know if you've ever felt this But sometimes like there's certain like places on your back or your feet where like you kind of feel it elsewhere

 I've had a foot massage where he was fixing my back actually, okay with the foot massage. 

So that's called reflexology and And Hey We were literally the titans What is a Titan Anyways So I start feeling it in my pussy from my feet to my pussy and I was like girl if he wanted to he He knew what he was doing And he just speak a speck of English girl and I was fine with it Mind you my mom and my cousin are next to me, but I can't see shit cuz he got the towel on my face So like I'm in another world. I'm in a completely different room. I'm not in open 

She's a loose and a she's a girl you had the infinity pool 

But yeah, that was basically he didn't he didn't get I mean he kind of got close to my girl And he like took my leg and opened it so it was butterfly so he can get my inner thigh and I was like What do you look like Now worth it This really just click me he looked like it's a old Asia man, but he got on top of my chest I'm rubbing my thighs down was a you know do all that Only five feet tall, sir. I mean, that was long, man. He got on top of the bed. I could feel him hovering over me, but I was like, even if I open my eyes, I can't see, I don't got my glasses on. I was like, I literally. 

Oh my God. 

So it was an experience. It was fun. Oh my God, so I fell asleep. The biggest amazing part of it is that I got so relaxed that I fell asleep for a second, like almost hypnotized. 

I need to get a foot massage, bitch, but I need my calluses clean. 

Yeah, that's different. You need a pedicure and you don't even need a foot massage, girl. Yeah, but actually it was good. I'm definitely gonna go back. All right, give me one of your hides, girl. 

Let me see. So, I mean, I mentioned it a little bit, but I've been maintaining my self-care routine. And that's really been helping me stay motivated. It's been feeling so much easier to work on the podcast stuff or other stuff that I have to do online and at home. Because I have so much time at home now. So, but then I had another high where I went out last weekend with some friends and I don't know. I haven't had a day like this where I go bar hopping, and I really get bonkers and crazy. Like since I was maybe, I don't know, 24 or 23, like when I... 

Very long, a very long time ago. 

Yeah, like when we went to Soho, like this is what it reminded me of. Soho in Tampa, for y'all that don't know, Soho is like this area in Tampa where it's like bars, bars, bars next to each other and we would go there. 

Yeah, you could just get plastered. 

Oh my God, insane. But I had that same feeling this time where I was just like fucked up at the bar, did not give a fuck, just going bonkers crazy. Such a good time. 

Slay. 

And now I'm like feeling more rejuvenated, like ready to just take my social life to the next level again. 

You should take your work to the next level, girl. You should take your apartment to the next level. 

But it has been. But that's what I'm saying. Everything's getting easier for me. Like it feels like what I was saying last week, like the balance was coming together. Now it feels like it's elevating and I feel happier in both. 

Okay, slay. Do you have another high? I think I have one more. My other one is that I went on the boat. My brother bought a boat, shout out to that. And it's a brand new boat, girl. 

Damn, I need to go.

 And it was so nice, like as a Virgo, Scorpio Virgo, like being on a wild-a-light day, like I'm a Earth.

 Intense. 

Like, intense. No, literally. Ooh. I was just like on the, I was at the front of the boat. So I was just like getting like the whole view and I was just smiling like at the air like, all I could see was sea in front of me, girl. And then we went to a sandbar. 

Oh my God, you was bucked up and fucked up, like you ain't got no mind. 

And that's what my kindle with me. I took my pen and I swiped both. And I read, girl. And I walked the sandbar. And it was nice. The water was clear, girl. That should look like the islands. It was wild. 

You're in the happy place, I imagine, when I do the guided meditations. I swear to God. That's what I imagine when I die. 

Oh. Deep. We go in there. Back to the boat. We go there, you guys. If we go anywhere, it's there. Where are you? Because I'm already there. 

Raw and ready. Real, raw, and here. Yeah. In there. Get up with it. Yeah. Yeah.I knew you was going to do it.

 I could read it on your face. No, literally. I'm just looking like a little fucking robot. A little fucking doll. Anyway, do you got another one or no? 

No, that was it for the week. 

OK, slay. 

I haven't been doing much anyway, because where hasn't been going. 

So. Girl saying. But maybe I have a job in a week coming up, so.

 Girl, hope to meet you, girl. And remember last week when we told y'all, get a job, girl. Grow up, girl. 

We doing that this week. We showing up is, girl. We trying. I finished my online profile so I could edit podcasts. So look out for that, y'all. 

If you or anybody you know needs help. Hey, you guys. Hey, you guys producing your podcast. You know who to call. 1-800-ASKGARY. 

Auto zone. 

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Anyways, so get into your regs. Ooh, get into it. I want to hear it, girl. I want to hear it. 

So you guys, I was watching this movie, or I was looking for movies online to watch, and I stumbled across something. So this movie is about a journalist that, this is actually a true story, which was fucking shawking. 

Okay, what's it called?

 It's called Christine from 2016. 

It says it's on Netflix and Prime. Okay, Slay. 

So anybody can pretty much watch it because pretty much everyone got that shit. But this movie is about a news journalist for a Sarasota news station in the 70s. And it's about her story of how she deals with her depression and also the pressure of work and her whole life. The end is intense. The way that this shit is real is insane. And it's in Sarasota. 

That's why I clicked it. I was like, this is so close to home. 

I think it's a remake, too. I think they made the original one in the 70s. 

Did they? This shit happened in 75.

 It was just 29-year-old reporters were let loosely motivated to succeed. 

Some of the stuff that she goes through in this movie felt so close to home. But the movie was pretty good. It's not anything funny. You're not going to laugh. You're going to be kind of shocked. I don't know. For those that deal with depression, how do I explain it?

 All of our ODBs. 

When I get super sad, I get so attackative. I attack everybody. And I take everything personal. And the way she was doing in this movie, I was like, this is a little too close to home. And it made me kind of cringe because I was like, oh my god. 

These people are only trying to help. And she's attacking. 

Look at you, girl. I'm glad you saw yourself. 

Oh, but it's so hard to say something. But look out for the shocking ending. OK, I'm excited. You will be shocked.

 I might watch it tonight, girl. And don't forget, this is a true fucking story. 

I'm kind of scared. OK, let me get a rec. I haven't been able to watch any television or even nothing close to what I normally watch. So I don't have any good movies for you guys. I'm sorry. But I am rewatching Raw's Wives of New York. It feels really cool watching it being that I live in New York. 

Your neighbors. 

Yeah. Right. Honestly, yeah. Across the water. Just a minute. A minute's walk. Astoria, Upper East Side, same difference. So that's really fucking cool. And I don't know. It's like, I feel like when you watch things with more awareness, even if it's like a year, for that, it's been like two years that I watched it. But you're just a different person. And watching it now is like, these hoes is hags, like, for real. 

How many seasons does that show even? 

Girl, I think 13 seasons. But some seasons, I like it because I'm just washing dishes while I do it or some shit. just like working or like you know that's what I was talking about is like when you rewatch your show it's just to like relief anxiety yeah 

yeah cuz you know what's gonna happen so you it's like it's mindless yeah you don't have to like think about like oh I have to oh is that similar to like mindlessly scrolling on Instagram

 do you mindlessly scroll

 yeah I do like when I go through stories bitch it's click click click click I'm not absorbing shit

oh yeah Instagram is not an app that I absorb much from but TikTok I'm like active on it like I gotta pause the TV if I'm watching TikTok but it's too

 it sucks you in too much that's why I try I put the limits on it I put 15 minutes a day 

I haven't been doing too much honestly I really haven't but yeah so rewatching Real Housewives of New York I'm watching the new season of Real Housewives of New Jersey if anybody wants to talk about it talk about it with me and the new season of Summer House is pretty good too 

so if you had to recommend one season of Real Housewives which one would you recommend 

of Real Housewives of New York because there's different franchises 

yeah which franchise would you recommend that's because maybe I'll start so I don't know 

okay for you I think you should start with Potomac because that shit is so funny 

oh you told me about that 

yeah that should be so funny it's like based out of like the outskirts of DC and it's not as long it's like a newer franchise it's like five six seasons or something like that I haven't watched the newest but like season one through four because there's like a bad girls club scene like one of them like actually beats a bitch's ass like and like Real Housewives normally doesn't act like that but they got they got out of character for sure for that one how can

 I don't get how you could act like that when you got that much money and like 

a lot of them got fake money but then there's also Salt Lake City and that's a very new franchise there's only like three seasons you are they are

 they are Amish

 not Amish um 

Mormon 

Mormon yep and they talk about the Mormon church and that shit is funny they all look and inbred girl and one of the one of the fucking church leaders like she don't know she inbred

 oh I saw this yeah 

she's like she don't know she inbred mind you Mary is married to her fucking grandma's husband they're not related are they she had to marry her husband when she died so that she could take the throne it was part of the will girl 

not this game of thrones as fucking scenario 

crazy so she had a she had a baby with him it's her step-grandpa but like you know but her grandma's dead her grandma is dead but what is her mother thing you know what her mother didn't take the throne so she jealous girl she

 I don't know sometimes fishy

 that's why you should watch it girl it's official it's so weird and then the other girl Jen got got by the IRS or the FBI or something some the fucking state of New York got her for fraud she was literally scamming old people for money what's that thing telephone fraud yeah 

yeah when they steal the social securities when they like oh for this you can for this much money you can have this or something and like telemarketing

 it's like a telemarketing scheme oh got you yeah 

oh girl I knew this guy that knew this guy that worked in this retirement home in Tampa and they had this group of people that would like wait for the old people to die they would steal the social security numbers and then go crazy with it and then one day they got super fucked up because they bought drugs and then took a car and then totaled the car and then they got arrested 

as they should what but yeah those are my recs do you have any more 

oh yeah I do so actually you guys I've been feeling really intelligent but I'm sure because I've been learning French she's wearing her ring she has her beret but I was reading a book that I actually really like she reads she reads surprise surprise well let's congratulate that but you guys this book is called voices from the drug world from 1971 by Harrison Pope 

she's vintage

I sound like an audiobook

 literally 

um I'm reading vintage right now this book I got from a thirst or a while back but it's about basically the author wrote a thesis based on drug culture and instead of talking about like the side effects or like the bad parts of it he goes into a deep dive and actually interviews his friends in which he asked the question in the book why do middle-class Americans take drugs and then he explores that idea and then really dives deep into like how these people are connected the social structure around it and it's if you're into like raving and like all the culture behind drug use which a lot of stoners are and beyond that this book is a really good read like could not put it down it's not long it's maybe a hundred pages so good like really like honestly if it had to do with drugs of course I'm gonna pick it up it's a little bit outdated of course it's from the 70s but you should know what's outdated if you're educated 

yeah maybe pick up another book maybe pick up another book maybe look up a timeline so you can see get a textbook get some girl anyways 

um oh girl by the way I finally watched that movie fucking infinity tell me more oh my god I just finished it right before recording girl I didn't realize how fucking visually intense this shit would be 

yeah imagine watching it at the theater by yourself stoned out of your mind chicken nuggets in hand it was 

amazing oh my god which I wish I would have come here boy 

didn't she kill that part she slayed the whole movie like I wish it was her she looked so crazy and beautiful girl 

at the end right 

all of it it was throughout but girl the juice is coming out the nipple like what but the hip nut the hip the what I said the hallucination yeah 

yep threw me for a loop like before and then he started sucking her nipple there's something it's something about nipple like 

There's gotta be some to it maybe it's like the rebirth so you're like right baby 

exactly because of the whole rebirth so now that you've watched it what do you think of like the whole concept of watching yourself die

 I think I could do it I don't think it'd be that traumatic

 did you see they got addicted to it and then they went home like it was nothing yeah 

but they were saying like oh these people that live here are fucking buffoons like they don't know shit and I was like yeah take a look at them here pool 

I think that part was signifying like people of money going to going to you countries exactly yeah but she killed that part right I was like she's so cute like I was getting more and more attracted to her throughout the fucking movie for some reason James the way she put her mouth I can't get out my the eyebrow like every time James you put a little boy

 she's always she was like she's such a queen I want to meet her she's in my dream blunt rotation 

yeah honestly he is too he murdered that he did so good with that too

 oh my god he's so fine like at that part where he was like fighting himself I was looking for his dick I was looking for a slight peep I was like let me pause 

speaking of the penises girl that old man when the nut sack was bigger than his wee-wee that they were sitting on it like a fucking pillow that she was disgusting it looked like a kuchi makes a dick like literally it took me a while to realize I was like what is this I was like that's what that made me feel so sad because his ass was saggy and I was like my vagina would never look like that so that's crazy like that's sad that ball is in that sack and what not sacks and in pee-pee turn into whatever that was

 girl that movie wasn't saying highly recommend y'all need to go watch it I'm trying to look at the other funny parts where I was like the bus scene of him trying to get out and him coming out like she passed her second hundred bull like what I did not smoke for this movie I haven't smoked 

you didn’t?

like no I watched us over but I wish you watch the high I know but haven't left the house bitch I'm okay

 if you lived in New York it would be delivered to you anyway so last week Mike kind of talked about a story time so this week we decided to do a story time based on it which was like concert themed especially because concert season is here concerts are coming back in general there was like a two-year gap that we didn't have them so we're gonna have a little story time for you guys each are you guys ready so these are you guys have any fun that story is revolving around a concert please send them and we want to hear them but we want to read them

 bitch I want to laugh it better be funny and it better be crazy

 it better be crazy or funny those are the requirements if it's boring then keep it to yourself like if you went to the scissor concert and it's that simple that you could afford the scissor concert then you can go to hell because as much as it was it

 is she that big 

she would help fucking I guess the cost of her surgery was because she would needed to pay for that BBL girl she was literally charging over 300 for nosebleeds for nosebleeds

 so I'm assuming like the other ones are gonna be like 1k if not more 

if not more and that's not even resale we're talking about first 

first release you know what I could do with 300 fucking dollars you know what I could do with 300 fucking dollars for a two hour I could buy groceries

 I could live

 y'all I'm broke send that money to me if we have any odbs that are going to the scissor concert sell your tickets and send the money to us we need the funding honestly like how bad do you need that night like for real the one 

in New York already happened though contact me I'll tell you how bad I need the money personally I'll show you my debt so that you could see how bad I need it

 I'll show you my dick you know what you know

 I'll show you my pussy but you know what no I'll show one tittyI want to show my pussy but money comes and goes girl we got plenty money we don't need we don't need to be begging for my audience I need that money to go into my bank account from you guys honestly I was thinking I was like if every follower that I have on tiktok gave me $1 I would have $38,000

 that's a year salary for most people for average American

 more than 50% of the other that's insane you'll need to donate to the poor people in America give me a dollar like I was for plugging in my cash up if y'all are wondering is thank you legs thank you letter you L-e-x-x check the description for mine as well yeah it'll be there anyway so you guys or who wants to start I think you should 

okay so let's start with my story we're in Tampa night time May 2019 Ali and AJ were doing like a comeback like the band was coming back they were like we're gonna send out new music like they had a new album that 

I remember this era girl this album was divine

 it was divine design salon and spa too good literally I remember what am I job I don't know I grow how to interview there too dummy 

getting you a job trying to get you a job everywhere I think about that spot often

 I'll never forget the name cuz I think about it when I smoke every time because I always pretend like I'm picking up the phone okay so it's 2019 so Ali and AJ had this album and they announced like their tour dates and I and they're coming to Tampa and I was like you know what me and my girl Mel had to get the tickets yeah we was both bumping this shit like every time we go out we got this shit bumping in the car like from Disney Channel no oh take me and church 

yeah when you're gonna take me yeah they fucking murdered that I love that song so many good songs 

so tonight at the concert comes and you know me I had to get my Adderall in check pop them two bitches got to the fucking concert girl and it's filled with people but like they come on stage and nobody's fucking singing the songs like they're singing their new songs it's only me and Mel and by the time these bitches are on stage me and Melissa already cross-eyed two pre-games and we're jumping like screaming the songs and Ali and AJ was pointing at us they was waving at us No fish I'm dead ass they pointed at us multiple times at like multiple songs cuz it was only us 

They were like these are our number one fans. 

No bitch. We was lit when they think of Tampa 

They see yo fat ass face as I said, 

that's what my head be big. But bitch like I felt like I was living that dream like having them acknowledge me But when potential breakup song and like chemicals react was playing everybody was going crazy Crazy girl. I felt like I was in a mosh it I 

Didn't like you at the warp tour 

No, bitch. I was literally acting like I was at a festival and we're at the small-ass bar in E war, right? Yeah, it was an ybor. You know the bar Orphium. 

Uh-huh. Yeah, I was there. Okay. 

Oh, that was like one of my best concerts I'm not gonna lie to you because I felt so personal. 

I love a small concert. I did that for me Jordan It was small like out of small little club and I was like, this is 

Nice usually you can always meet them after the fact to when it's like something small like that We didn't meet them, but we got close. I mean they waived at us But so the show and we're super buzzed. We like fucked up and bucked up like we ain't got no mind. We walking back to the car and we see this bar that we always go to it's called Southern nights for anybody that knows and on Wednesdays Southern nights got all you can drink ten dollars 

If one thing that y'all should know about what Tampa used to be is that it was the cheapest place to drink 

Girl and the gay bars everybody knows they get you fucked up from half a drink

 Literally gay bars have the strongest drinks I've ever had that's consistent throughout the US in general. Yeah, I love it But they play the best music. 

Yeah Yo, it's true. So, you know, we we had a go in we were like, let's take a little stroll inside Let's take a ganda Just a quick look and then we'll go home girl Oof one drink. We was smacked up. We were so fucked up all good things happen on Wednesdays There was like drag queens on stage me and Melissa are yelling. We're like 

Oh, there's one thing about us is that we yell when we are in talk the case 

And we just yell more when we're all together because it's like because we're trying to get the loudest yell But it's a compete we're all fucking yelling whores buffoons 

Buffoons

 Fucking crazy There was like one drag queen that was like doing Beyonce and she got off stage me and Melissa was like, oh my god Bitch, you look just like Beyonce like And then I was starting to get tired cuz you know the Adderall was starting to wear down So I started asking around like hey who got the Like I was asking everybody and then I asked this one guy at the bar. I was like, do you have He was like, I do if you have a threesome with my boyfriend. I was like, um, I'm not a drug addict 

Was he not cute? 

No, not that I remember but I still wouldn't do it I feel so like dirty if I was to fuck with honestly, yeah, 

no, yeah It's I mean if they was cute though, I feel like the scenario would be different I wouldn't be fucking put a drug some fuck because

 I'm not gonna do it. I can't do it I just if I rollin was like, yeah, if you have a threesome women. Oh, yeah, girl. 

Um, I'll bring my drugs too. We all share Now I actually have I'm saying if they find it's a different story anyway, so we're just going about our night And then I asked this one drag creature was like you need to stop asking people because it's dangerous to do that She was like, but don't worry. I got you 

That's mother 

She thought she was one of them street rats. 

Oh, no, she was talking to me and now she let us She said you guys are not my children So, you know how in Tampa like all the clubs and all the bars they close at three we somehow got home at like eight in the morning I don't know what I was doing, 

but when to the casino

 Me and Alexis one time the club close so we was like, let's go to the casino

 For no reason

 it wasn't we bike was like, let's go. Let's go. 

I was like, what the fuck is that a casino? I literally was already fucked up. So as soon as we got there, I blew up that bathroom with my insides girl 

It's cuz my brother like found us and he was like, we're gonna take a scene on you know, I can't call it a night So I was like, let's go. I

 don't remember him being there. Was he in the uber? 

No, they drove us, but I don't know how we got home Maybe I call it over don't remember That was a good night and that night that night also started out a gay club. 

Yes. 

I did girl That was a good night. I looked at a picture from that night. We were hanging out with these people like after the club close One girl's eyes was like so cross-eyed, but she was joining the conversation. She was cross-eyed because she was fucked up I'm not making fun of her Is 

it's drug and soothed

 I don't something about you poor for y'all that haven't been there You could just walk around when the clubs close and just talk to random people the whole time and really just find a After party on the streets. 

Yeah, cuz just because the clubs close doesn't mean everything else close I think like the cigar shop is still open things. 

Oh, is it? 

I don't know the pizza shop is still open I don't know. There's always people still hanging around so same thing with so ho low key. 

Oh, yeah Yeah, girl used to be at that sub not subway. Oh the jersey of t

he Jimmy John's girl.

 I was in that bitch every time I'm so good. 

Yeah, yeah devour it I wish they had more food around there. Honestly, that was the biggest thing that I hated Nothing hits like New York though Like you can get whatever type of food at whatever time one time I we got out the club Kylie was visiting we Kylie and Shrestha was there and I look around the corner. I'm like, there's a Cuban spot 24-7 Cuban spot girl It's like four in the morning. 

I don't know. I feel Zuda put it I had I had a couple Palomas and That was bussive down I'm good. The music

 what you got

 in Gaga Ropa. Yeah, I Kylie got a Cuban so we split that and then Shrestha's vegan. So she was a shit 

rice 

Yeah 

Oh, you just reminded me that one time we went to Saatchi Papa fucked 

Oh It was always good when there was a DD when there's a DD you can go to Saatchi Papa and If you guys aren't cultured Saatchi Papa is a Colombian fast food dish Which is french fries shredded chicken hot dogs cheese Mayuka Chumix and ranch mix Yo, so fucking good I need to go out just to have that. 

Anyways, girl. Yeah, girl. Let's get on with your story. What happened with you? Where were you? 

Okay, okay, okay. 

What year is it? What year is it? Okay, so I graduated in 2013. Yeah, so 2014, 2015, I can't remember what. I am the treasurer of student government for my, for our college. Yeah. I'm the treasurer of the college. I'm the treasurer of the college. I'm the treasurer of the college. I'm the treasurer of the college. My, for our college. Yes. Yeah. For our college. And

shout out to me, I was such a slay. They recruited, I was a slay for that. The whole was really jealous. Girl, they paid me and they sent me on two trips. So one of the trips was to see, the other trip was New Orleans. So, yup. And so the girl that I went to New Orleans with, she was also in student government with me. She was the secretary and we were actually friends. And so we were both Drake lovers. And this is when nothing was the same came out.

 You used to be so obsessed with him girl. I was, it was disgusting how, I used to just like, I'll never forget. Alexis told me one time she was like, if he had Chipotle and had diarrhea, I would eat his asshole clean after that.

 No, I was obsessed with him. I wouldn't say that now. I wouldn't say that now. But I was obsessed. That's a fact. So I had already seen this tour, nothing was the same in Tampa like a week before that. And then we were in New Orleans at the same time. And for like the real fans that I know, New Orleans is quite significant because that's where Lil Wayne's from, which is Papa Bear of Drake and everybody. And Nikki, Bob's. And so we felt like, oh, Burma is going to be there. Everybody's going to be there. So we got set on these trips for like conventions to talk to like other student governments from other colleges and universities and stuff. So we was like on our like professional shit. We had to take like business attire, all that. 

So I remember. Yes. 

So Em and I are already in our business attire and we had our land year. And so we looked like official. The hotel that we were staying at, which is where the convention was was literally like a five, 10 minute walk from the stadium. 

This is divine intervention.

 Right. And mind you, I already know stadiums because I worked at the arena here in Tampa where you and I worked. And so like I kind of knew like, you know, when you just know how they work, you know, the ins and outs, then, you know, like the background and everything. Like what people don't see when they go to concerts or games. Yeah. So we were 

like, let's go to the box office because I knew the box office is always going to be cheap. I was like, let's go to the box office and get tickets. And we're like bet we get tickets for like $40 and those $40 are like, 

that's cheap. 

Yeah. Because I was like, let's get nosebleeds and I'll sneak us down because I already know like how these work. Like, you know what I mean? So I snuck us down, but we're already in our attire and we're like, we're already missing this part of the convention. Like, let's see if we can like sneak in the back. 

You are bold. So bold. 

So bold. But so we said, let's act like interns for radio station. This is kind of full circle. Having my own podcast. Literally, right? Maybe it was divine. Like that's. Design, design, design, design, design salon and spa. 

We're going to start a spa. 

Girl, I only worked there for three months and that shit will forever have an impact on me. The pink print. Anyway. 

Put your pink print on the mic and continue the story. 

So Mia, I'm a go. We go out. I was like, girl, like, let's act. You know, like, I was like, if anybody asks us what we doing, we just say we're interns because they not going to ask us where we're going. They're going to be outside. Who are us? Who are us? Who we are?

 I forgot all about this story too. 

Yes. I'll forever remember it. We go initial security to like get into the backstage. Cause I saw his tour buses were already there. So they asked us and we got through with saying that we were intern for the radio station. I even looked up a radio station. I was like, make sure it's the R&B one or like the Raffle one. 

You got the mind of a mastermind.

 Girl, if we need to execute a plan, I'm here to fucking make it happen. Some oceans 11. So we make it back a few like people and then this very familiar face comes up because like we said, I was a big Drake fan. So I knew all his friends. I knew everybody that would be on tour with him. Girl fan. 

Stalker. 

No, Stalker. I, but like back then it was like the beginning of like social media and stuff. Like, you know, you know what I mean? Like, I don't know. 

When we were at that age, also I was like so obsessed with like certain artists. I would know everything. 

Right. And so I was like, oh my God, I know that is. And he was like, somebody told me this is how he came up to me. He was like, somebody told me and I was like, I literally that's the moment that I should work and he was like, that you can tell me where I can get this dry cleaned for Drake. And I was like, somebody told you I'm an assistant girl. I am. I was like, no, I work for radio. I literally didn't know what to say. I should have taken it. Obviously, even when I thought about it then I was like, why didn't I just accept it and run? Are you kidding and wore it to the concert that night? I would have taken it home. 

Literally. Smell to the core. 

No, literally. Yeah. So then we were like, we chickened out. Cause I was like, oh my God, like everybody's out. Like what are we going to do? Like knock on the door and be like, hey, Drake, I'm your biggest fan. You know, I was like, let's get the fuck out. And so we got out of there. We had to finish the convention. Abort mission. We had to finish the convention and then we got ready for the night. Like I said, I snuck us down like the beginning of the show. So we had like, like we were basically on the ground or like right next to it. Like Drake was better seats than what I paid a hundred and something in Tampa. It was like insane. I was like, slay. And that was close. And then after I was like, this is normally where the artist comes out at. So I was like, let's just wait around for a little bit. See if Drake comes out. And then his fucking dad came out, Dennis Graham. And I was like, Dennis. Dennis, right here. Dennis, remember. And back then, if you like the Gen Zs won't know, but back then your phone died a lot because you didn't have portable. Chargers nor did you have an iPhone so or maybe I did maybe 

you had an iPhone 5 I remember we got them together. 

Yeah And my shit died so it was like as soon as taking the picture type shit, so I'll never have that picture Yeah, that's my story it was a good one though, and I love that it was like for Drake girl 

Yeah, I was like totally spies like it's crazy that you that you snuck in at the beginning and then went back to your seat Watch the show like you had an adventure and then like enjoyed it

 for real and I still had that convention I was still in my mistreasure 

Honestly like what are they gonna do if they do catch you like they're just gonna be like leave 

Exactly like now since you know since we worked in and I was like literally what's the worst that could happen Besides getting to his dressing room being like You know then that's like it's a problem But it was a cute experience like it's not like I'm at Drake, but it still feels like I did look no But you got clothes closer than anybody else listening right besides Kia because she actually went to his birthday party last year And gave him a hug. He said hi. I'm Drake. She said He wouldn't forget shake. She literally gave him a hug As she said w

what he smelled like 

She said like oh just a beautiful man. She said he's so beautiful on all this She's obsessed with him though still he a big boy too. 

Oh like tall Yeah, he's tall because he got the bbl. 

Oh, I was gonna say Yeah, he got his knees done, but um But yeah, that's our story You guys were dying to hear yours cuz concert stories get intense 

like a concert makes you feel like you're on that vacation energy

 It's like that is such a good way to explain it cuz I was like it's not like a regular night out It's literally like a night out on vacation Cuz you don't give a fuck about anything you're like Cuz it's like this is the only time I'm gonna see this artist Like this is the artist that I love and listen to all the time like we all The amount of people that all connect on that same song and that same artist like that is so powerful Yeah, yeah We need to go

 I need we need to Concert girl, I need a concert band because I've been only going to raves and like seeing a DJ's of course like fun But I'm sorry, but it's different than

 like being able to sing along exactly And see somebody that you idolize Bitch we need to see Rico Nasty if we saw like Charlie and Rico Nasty together that shit or Kim Petras That shit what 

I would go back in time for is to see Charlie when she was doing Sophie to girl But they would do like Sophie and Charlie where that like when Charlie released like room room like imagine bitch Oh my god, what a bitch I would have lost literally 

this is for my dirty girls My girls who drive fast cars That's right How does Sophie song go? 

Oh, I'm just a little kid Yes, I'm having a child I can be anything I want Absolutely ruin this song that I love it 

The fact that I know every word to that part You know where I go, I'll be here in my heart here in my heart here in my heart Peace Sophie all she wanted to do was look at the moon My god, I will never forget the way she passed like I thought that would really be me hanging off the balcony But the on the moon watcher. That's what they call me You know what Alicia died trying to catch a view or something beautiful. 

She was a fellow moon enthusiast She did 

Seriously if Charlie comes on tour like anywhere near either of us we need to go I need to actually check the date and I honestly I haven't really listened to her new album Once or twice, but nothing like I listened to the last three that came But those were the COVID one was really good. 

We were obsessed with the COVID one Oh my god girl earth shattering. This was like groundbreaking ground Breaking but that hyper pop era whenever was first not big cuz right now hyper pop is like boom boom boom Everybody got it on yeah, but before when it was like first new where only the gaze listen to it That was the game in the allies. Yep Yep, and I was everybody now is tick tock. It's like a tick tock exactly exactly hyper pop But yeah, or pink panthers that would be dope if we went to pink bit this 

Girl the pink panthers boiler room was so good 

If we went to a boiler room that would be lit too because it's like DJ but like we could sing along but it would have to be a boiler room that does like hyper pop You know soul combo. What's the there's too many like when I got to DJ's 

I don't like that many drunk people around me because they're too belligerent. That's not how it is when I've gone to some around here

 Or around New York because it's like rooftop vibes. They just drunk people push you in our room I know it don't I know you know, I'm the most sober one and I hate that shit and I'm so short too Yeah, I'm constantly getting pushed around like a ragdoll girl people on you don't do that. 

Yeah, it's only drunk people I mean, I can only tolerate drunk people and I'm drunk same. Yeah being zoo today 

But yeah, we finish with some concerts. We need to we need to come up with our Dream line up that would be lit. Oh We could do that at some point soon Well, all right, we hope you guys enjoyed today's episode and beyond as always Follow us on Instagram and TikTok at off-duty underscore six times It'll be linked in this description along with everything else we talked about. Oh, and we've also Started doing blogs, which is basically our podcast episode Transcribed for anybody who would prefer to read our episodes You're a slay. There you go exactly enjoy and 

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Bye guys. 

Bonjour. 

Bonjour 

Wow, yeah, yeah, yeah