Episode 10: A Proper Cum, The Adderall Shortage, and Visiting Home

 Hey guys welcome back to the OD podcast I'm your host Alexis and you call us 

Mike, or good afternoon wherever you are. Right wherever you are 

you guys we still are in the process of changing our name we just can't say our old name. 

Oh yeah we can't. 

We can say off duty by itself but we can't add a The or podcast before and after it. We can't say those four words together in that order. 

Exactly so what we just said scratch that out we never said it. We never said it yeah but for now we're OD but we really think we're gonna change it to proper

 the proper podcast. What do you guys think? Yeah let us know send us a DM. 

No literally we're super excited about it we're thinking like so proper means genuine so like just knowing that like we're too just genuine. 

Shut the fuck up I just like it because we can do like English accent. 

Like a little ink like like put- 

can't pull you off a proper chat. 

Right I'm a proper whore I don't know about you guys. I'm a proper influence

 I'm a proper whore. I'm a proper roster too I do get paid for six. 

Right right right. 

Shout out to the sex workers anyway so yeah that's our idea with proper along with when we do proper merch it'll be cute on the clothing that we design as well because I think our merch will go beyond just being merch it'll probably be like a clothing line. 

Well who knows we could make candles at some point proper candles. 

Oh my god the proper candles yeah and we're gonna have the proper toys well we're gonna have the candles part of the toy line because it'll be candles that you can pour wax onto your lover. 

And proper Adderall since there's an Adderall shortage. 

For a proper cum. 

A proper cum a proper orgasm. A proper cum. Our sex toys gonna be a proper orgasm and that's the name of the toy proper orgasm. 

Right so then our freestyle episodes would be proper chats. Propa banter. A proper banter chat but it's a pull you full proper chat. So yeah we feel like it may be more aligned with us off duty maybe childish so he could keep the name Anthony if you're listening again fuck you. 

Again the police wins. The police wins right see proper. So that's how we work that one and yeah we're gonna go for it if you are a hater and you are going to try to trademark it before we do we will come find you. We have Alec Murdoch on the way. You always say Alec Murdoch Murdoch Alex Murdoch. 

What's he gonna do from jail. No one gonna check me. He's gonna come and get you girl he don't like the game. He got time he got time to serve. 

Anyway so yeah let us know what you guys think only positive things I mean if you have. We're sensitive only positive. Yeah we're sensitive right now we're going through a lot right now. So let me get into my proper high we're gonna test it out we're gonna test it out. Are we doing highs first. No. Sorry. 

Proper. Let's go proper aligned with the lows. Let's get let's. 

That just made me think like I think if we do pursue proper I'm gonna like brand myself and get a proper tattoo on me. On your forehead. Right. 

I think we should have matching tattoos so that we could really like it's like us getting married. Once we get our sponsorship I'm gonna get our proper tattoo. Oh my god wait should that be our thing. Yeah. Like once we get our first paid sponsorship we get tattoos together. But that's like the beginning of our goal like pushing forward so we get the tattoos because then it's like official. 

Yeah. Okay so. It's like bitch. Yeah say okay. 

I'm getting it on my ear. I'm gonna get it right here on my jawline. I'm getting it on my top lip like a mustache. Oh my god we should get it like in our lips. We should bring the ponytail. We could bring that that that arrow. Proper shit tattoo. 

It will be back like that that area is gonna come back. I don't know where I put it honestly. My pussy lips. That's perfect. 

A proper pussy. Anyway let me get proper low with you guys. We're gonna test it out. Bear with us if the name changes again. Bear with us. 

Yeah just live your life. Live your truth. Let go of my god. Let go of my god. 

We're here to make you laugh and ask about it. Exactly. A proper laugh. Just stay for the proper laugh. Just a little proper giggle. Like that's it babe. 

A chuckle. A little chuckle. A little chuckle. A little proper chuckle. Like. Come on now. It's like really not that serious. It's not that deep babe. A few c physician it is. 

Bye, men. Tell that uhhh okay. It's not that intense. It should be though and ​ look at the It's 

just us with the Photoshop. Yeah. Like okay I really did slap hertechnicaly. Unfortunately I love myику. Should use lipstick. Yeah 

but for me it actually sounds weird to me. Myilantro... Souchen i also do depak. I just did it. Like 

Nick's her Superanco u For theтерlaus. come back in regards to how I speak to myself and how I could quote-unquote think about myself which is mainly just my anxiety and stuff but yeah I've been my biggest enemy and I haven't been letting myself enjoy anything that comes my way even if it is a little part-time something like it's money and I'm not looking at it yeah I'm just getting you know you're getting what you want and you're just not happy with it right and it's like cuz I don't want to it's more of like a need and I'm like I hate needing things I only want to one thing like you know I don't know I think you just need to look at the positives I think it's gonna come to you you just had a big change yeah Melinda was like girl nothing matters like you know that exactly you're still right we'll get back into that like yeah I told her about the name change and she was like oh my god I was like I know adding to my plate even more but you're focusing on the negatives focus on the positives you're back you were complaining how you want to be back you're back now be happy count your blessings I know come my fucking blessings I'm fine everything's fine like I live in New York City exactly matters like squatters rights are like real things here and like I could live here without paying my rent if I if need be you know what I'm saying work the system bitch I gotta do what I gotta do Lord knows praise me anyway we'll show proper love oh so you guys you know how I've been talking about like not getting enough hours all this well something I didn't mention or maybe if I had as always I was forgetful and yeah I think that's his boiling point and I have no shifts this week so I'm Mike is exactly the type of worker you would think he would be FYI and he's been that way since I've known him I just like to talk a lot like I'd rather socialize he did nothing serious and that's fine I'm that's admirable that's why they hate you I'm a morality hire like I go there just to boost team morale that's my job that's really funny I'm a morality hire I'm like you're asking what I bring to the table it's what I do I make everybody like I just a proper just anybody want to talk like come on no literally that's me I'm like I'm do did you guys know that I can like dance and I just started mom look you were lucky mom mom look mom look and it's literally you just flashing water mom mom please but that was the same I'm doing a peace sign okay let's get fucking proper hi yeah wait hold on I have another low oh so since I'm getting fire you know money's getting tighter and tighter I have around I want to let everybody know my finances don't why yeah why do you always say I've been meaning to ask you and bring this up outside of our conversation with you guys why do you keep telling them exactly how much is in your account like that's crazy to me I don't know that's Matt transparent it's very Julia Fox of you I just don't care I mean like what are they gonna do with my money information look at my apartment yeah I have roaches yeah I have my sis and yeah let me say my sis I'm a fucking idiot yeah my it's already plural what's the what's the hard part about over sharing like what's so bad about it let me hear so right Melinda literally told me today who if anybody got a judge that's on exactly like I just want to go for the ones that are just listening today Melinda is my therapist sorry but yeah so money's getting tighter but there's no stress no stress money is coming no stress money comes and goes money I have a job interview tomorrow too exactly look at that quick quick and it's crazy because last night I was like heavy manifesting I was like I secured a job this week I secured a job this week isn't that crazy you know now's the time will technically last week last week which is now is the time to manifest apparently Mike told me today you guys are gonna hate this Mike told me today he doesn't believe in mercury in retro grade he was like I don't think that deep about it he's like I don't believe that hold on that's crazy this bitch was telling me that my electronics are acting up because mercury is in retrograde I was like no that's no I said I wonder if mercury is in retrograde because it is true it's one of the fucking side effects girl fuck that mercury is the planet of communication and when communication is in retrograde meaning it is not where it needs to be it's unaligned that's gonna obviously affect electronics where we communicate on man this is a Wendy's drive-thru what would you like to order I really just went on a rant shut my I let you keep going cuz I was I know how I'm gonna finish this he's I know how I'm gonna embarrass her you take the first word I'll get the last I also another small low is that I got really drunk on Friday and I try to pick up my friend and he fell on my face and I thought I broke my nose that's it she do look a little crooked down Oh my God, I can't tell. I can't either. I'm starting to, I'm bringing a face 

mask back. COVID is coming back. COVID style is coming back. Well, it's about to be summer, so it's about to be right out again. But I've been, I've been putting mask 

on because people be nasty. They be coughing. Oh, nobody has a mask on here. I forgot COVID existed until I had this cough. You're funny. No, people wear mask here. 

Still. Nobody here wore masks even like during the pandemic. But regardless, let's go on. What's your 

high? Yeah, let's not bring up that type of path. So my proper high, I have a couple. One is that I flew first class for the first time. Tell us, tell us. I decided to treat myself from Tampa back to New York. A, because it was affordable. And B, 

because I've been manifesting it and I've always wanted to do it. B is I travel with Nala and so just for her comfortability, I always try to be like in the bullhead. That's what you call it, right? I don't know. I think so. The front of the plane. And I 

always do like Delta comfort from flying Delta, which is normally the easiest flight from LGA to TPA. She knows the fucking airport name. TPA to LGA. I mean, you have to in New York because you have to say JFK, LGA, Newark. Of course. Yeah. Every New Yorker knows 

that. I would, I would give you two. 

Right. Q plus. You will be here soon and you'll get it. Anyway, so what should have made this 

a low? The first person that was supposed to sit next to me had a problem with Nala. Mind you, she didn't even notice Nala until after she was like putting her stuff all over the place, finally sat down. She was huffing and puffing, right? Cause she had all that work to do. And then she sees Nala and she's like, that's going to be a problem. That's disgusting. Right. And then there was another big ass 

dog in the same row as us, like on the other side of the aisle. And I was like, what's the problem? And she was like, oh, I'm allergic. And I was like, well, if you were allergic, they wouldn't have let you sit here because I requested with my dog to sit here. Do they do that? They ask the people that are next to you? Cause I have to put it in and I get it requested and like approved and everything. And so I think you have to report if you have an allergy because then they'd probably like while you're choosing your seat, wouldn't allow you to sit there type of shit. So then she was like, plus your dogs on my side and like Nala is definitely not on her fucking side cause her big ass was able to sit down, like get the fuck out of my face. So I was like, well, I'm not going to move her unless you stand. Like are you going to ask to move since you're allergic? Making up all these excuses. And this fine ass Zaddy, meaning old 

demand. What's he fine? I'd absolutely have fun slobbing on his mouth. When you described to me the first time you told me this story, I imagine the old man from like that movie up. No, no, more like, I don't know. He's definitely old enough. I mean he 

has kids that are like in college. So they're like pretty old. I'd be thinking like they added as old as that. He's probably like 40 then. No, I think he was like late fifties. Cause when I looked at his hands, I'm like an age expert. You have to look at people's hands and necks. Yeah. Not their faces. Yeah. But hands 

are the biggest thing. His 

hands were fucked up. They were serving like he could be in his sixties and look. Vietnam veteran. But he was fine. He was a 

Zaddy. He was so sweet. He loved Nala. He was all up on her. He kept talking to me. We was talking on this ship. And yeah, the food is served. I had short rib. It didn't. Damn 

bitch. I know. I mean, it was like, okay. I guess. And then they bring you all the snacks that you want. You can continue asking for fucking snacks and you get your own flight attendant for like three rows that are there. So yeah, it was a moment. That's 

nice. Cause bitch, you got out of a terrible experience and got a better one without even doing anything. Right. That was a Lord. You see, that's a good sign of 

you coming back too. You had a great flight back. I really did. Honestly, people that wouldn't want to be 

next to a dog just like are weird. I think I could be next to one. I just don't like them in my house. Yeah. I mean, it's an airplane girl. 

Like the dog is the least he worries. Yeah. Honestly. Anyway, what's your high? My 

high or my proper high would be that I went out last weekend. I was expecting like very standard. Like going out to the club like 

we drink. We have fun. You know, same old, same old. But I went out. Music was bumping. Music was amazing. Actually, 

the vibes are great. There was like 15 people I knew there. I felt like a celebrity. Mike. Mike. Mike's here. You guys. Every 

time in this section, somebody's like, 

Mike. I'm like, oh, yes. It's me. It's me. It's me. You guys. I'm here. They were also playing the song by 

land. By land. Oh, my God. My God. And when they played that shit, absolutely lost it. I was screaming. You got bug. Why? Because there's never going to be 

a time when I'm going to hear that song in the club again. Yeah, that's a song that you have to enjoy. You have to record it at the same time. You got to make sure everything's happening. I was so fucked up at one 

point. I was running to the bathroom to throw up. I threw up in my hand. It like splattered everywhere. Ew. You did not tell me that. Oh, 

I did? Yeah, I did not know you got that fucked up. Mike, that's why you fucking scraped Yoni. You fucked up Yoni. You fucked up Yoni. That was Friday. That was Friday. This 

is Saturday. I didn't realize you went out twice, 

but maybe I said that last weekend too, didn't I? I was like, I didn't realize you went out again. Well, I went out Friday, but I didn't actually make it out. I just went to people's houses, and I got way too fucked up. I got lost. I started crying. Yeah. 

I needed something. Whatever. She needed a phone to friend, girl. 

So I was throwing up, and I still had a vomit, so I was going to the bathroom. There was a long line. There was a girl walking to the open stall. I pushed out the way, went to the stall. Later, I was like, boop, boop. I was like, boop. I was like, I feel too good now. It's my tear, it's my tear. We were listening to that the after 

actually. I was telling everybody the story about Sophie and how she died. And not that I love that story, but I love that song. If they played that, I love that story. No, actually, there's only one way to 

die, and it's taking a picture of the moon on a balcony in Greece. Or was it a Spagnia? I think it was Greece. Yeah. Again, RIP Sophie. We bring her up all the time. I have another high. Highly recommend to anybody listening. Yeah. Yeah. Let me hear it. Give 

it to me. Yeah, right now. It's rearranging your apartment or studio, just your space in general, like moving 

something somewhere, moving a poster, literally moving anything around along with staging, highly recommend. Yeah. Like in that process and just like cleaning up the space. But rearranging makes such a difference. I had this chair in my room, the chair, the infamous chair that I brought up 

a few episodes ago that piles on clothing and that makes me really anxious. That chair. That D chair and it's a gorgeous chair. It's like this white cloud. What's that? Like the cloud material, I guess? Like memory foam? 

No. Like the outside is like that cloud couch material or not cloud couch. Like the cool ones that everybody likes. Like it's like shepherd. Oh, like the fur? I don't know how to explain that. No, 

I need to know interior design a little bit better. But anyway, it's a gorgeous chair. A beautiful white couch. Yeah. It's a beautiful chair. Yeah. 

It's beautiful. But I took it out of my room because it served no purpose there because it 

literally was piling on clothes. I couldn't even read in there. And I moved it to my living room and now my living room looks so, I don't know, it looks like a grown woman's living room in a way. Like adding an accent chair and then I layered a rug and then I moved my desk to face, it could potentially face my TV or the view. So I'm like looking at the city right now with the water and the bridge, the East River year. That's nice. No, yeah. Like this is like the department does a good on a chair. 

She looks cute, right? So it feels better in here. I don't know. I feel like more productive. Like I've been at my yesterday. I was prepping my tax. 

That's another though. You guys, I feel like I have so many things to talk about. 

Yeah. I was prepping my taxes for like five fucking hours. Still not done, by the way. Really? Yeah. And then I had to do some OD shit, OD slash profit shit. And I worked 

all the way till like, and then I had to post for Thank You Lux as well. I worked literally from like 11 to 11. Yesterday? Yeah. Well, I hope you get that over time. I'm literally working for free. I didn't make a dollar yesterday. But you were on the 

future. Yeah. Starting Friday. I stay tuned. Hard work goes far. I'm listening if you want to 

see what my new job is. Only fans, you're coming 

right? Oh, here I come. But some people are judging me right now. I posted a poll on my Instagram. If you guys aren't following at Thank You Lux on Instagram, you need to. People are like, girl, you need to not. And then some people are like, yeah. I 

mean, no one's going to live your life but you. So if that makes you happy, then do it. If it's not hurting anybody. I want to know what Kim Kardashian would do if she was like without like all of the success that she has. Working at Wendy's. If it was her like starting now, if she would use only fans to get up 

there. I mean, she follows like what's hot and popular and that's like really hot right now. Because if she would do it, I would too. So there's that. Well, I believe she would. So I guess the decision is done. That's my second job. I still got a long one, which is quite the opposite of 

sex work. But yeah, those are my highs. What was my high? Oh, rearranging. Yeah, highly recommend. I'm sorry because it gets you remotivated. But yeah, let's move on to 

the recommendations. You guys. The proper racks for the week. Mike has a stellar Irish accent that I recently discovered. Oh my God. I was so 

high. We were doing. You. That's why I took you so long. Let me give your guys an. Let me give 

you guys a little example of my Irish accent. It's so good. It was my Irish accent. You haven't finished it up. But my Australian accent is pretty 

good. Like I've been practicing it for so long. Look at that switch up, you guys. That's within seconds, you guys. Which was the best? I liked the Irish one. No, the Australian is really good because 

I've been practicing ever since H2O just said water. Water. I love that show. Water. It's one of my favorites. Let me do my mom and test. No, you. I'm a mom and test accent like, 

okay, you guys, let's get into the proper ricks. Who's excited? I can tie that up for Maxx. It's actually like the new joys. No, 

they're the track. No, I don't know. I mean, what's joys? Father joys. The listeners know your place. No, your place. The picky blinders. Honestly, yeah. If the picky 

blinders were in America, I imagine the being from Jersey. You know, I always forget that they're in London. I don't know why I think picky blinders are in New York. No, I think they're might be in Ireland. Girl, I don't even know. I've never seen them. You should. I don't think you would 

like it. Maybe I'll start watching it today but... Cause like the cinema... The cinema... The cinema to work with me. Can they read your 

movie? Yeah that shit is legit and consistent and amazing. I should 

watch it. Just watch the beginning. Just start it. It took me forever to finish. Took me like a year and a half. It's one of those shows for me. But it's good. So, into the Rex. Yeah! The 

pro of a Rex. So, I've been on my Oscars bender still you guys. An artist. So this week? A critic. You guys. Exactly. Actually, that's my next career goal. Becoming a real film. Proper critic. I'm having a hard 

time saying proper. I don't know if we're allowed to eat. Right? We'll get used to it. You think? This is a work in progress. The trials and tribulations of starting a podcast 

and consuming and contributing to making... Part two. Yeah. I feel like I'm on cocaine. I don't know why I'm so excited. I also 

feel like my mouth is jabbering a lot. Whatever! I did a quick workout before this. Proper. Yeah, girl. We've been trying to get 

onto the Rex for like... Proper. Yeah. Anyway. So, the movie 

I watched is called Triangle of Sadness and you can watch this on 

your local Hulu. You guys! So this movie is about a cruise ship full of exclusively like really rich people and then some chaos turns on in the night time. Oh, good. I love shit like that. It already sounds like Waylotis. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. It's such a good commentary on like rich people and how the poor people work together and like social media like influencers and how they play the part. Text it to me. I'm going to watch that instead of processor. It's so... Oh my 

god, there was one scene where they were like vomiting everywhere and like... Bitch, it was so long and like so like visual. I was like... At one point I was eating and I was like... No, I literally... I literally do that. I could smell the room. I'll tell you that much. No. But I was super smacked watching it and I was reading it to everything. I was 

like, wow, this is such a like good commentary on social structures nowadays. I love that type of zooted where you're able to like just see the bigger picture of it all and like interpret it. Like it's like I'm a fucking artist, bro. It was really good. I think you should watch it tonight. No, I am. Like it's 

not even too long. It was like two hours and a half. Not even... 

Mike, you know I just started introducing two hour movies to me. Okay, well girl, we'll 

push your boundaries. I don't know what you want me to say. I deserve it. But I was thinking about going to the movies and taking myself to the movies tonight. So I don't know. To see Scream. Scream? Oh. It's a good idea. Either Scream or Cocaine Bear. But alright. 

On the plane, I watched everything everywhere all at 

once since you talked about it last week. I'm influential. Right. And I was in and out of sleep because I get nervous on planes and then 

sometimes I kind of just like pass out for a second. Especially after I eat. I wish I had that same issue. I feel like the air and all of that. Like no, I just like fall asleep. 

Like, like I was even... yeah. Anyway, that movie, what I interpreted from it, it was basically how I would explain anxiety. 

Like everything, everywhere, all at once. And then essentially you realize that nothing matters. So you don't have to give into being everything everywhere all at once. That's crazy. Like when I watched that movie, I was blank. I was like, this is 

beautiful to look at. Based on your explanation, it was blank as well. Because when I listened back to the app, I was like, he literally had no context. Like what the... No, for sure, bitch. Like I watched it. I was like, I don't get it. It was a lot. And 

I thought of it like as a creative mind too. Like sometimes I get like 

these weird things in my head. Like that cartoon thing with like the fingers, the sausage fingers. Oh, was it a cartoon? Didn't they have real like... Or like, no, I think they might have been real. Maybe just the hands felt cartoonish. Yeah. It wasn't cartoonish. It was like hot dogs. Yeah, just regard me saying cartoon altogether. But that, I don't know, I feel like I've 

had thoughts of that in my head. I think we all do. We all have these weird thoughts. My name is... Yeah. I was channeling like there was this interview with Victoria Justice during the Victoria Saison. 

She was like, I think we all do. It just came to me. Yeah, I think... No, it's real. It does look really good. It feels really uncomfortable when I do that. But yeah, so that movie was good and I'd probably watch it again, but there's so 

many other movies I need to watch that. Yeah, it feels like I'm trying to catch up without even knowing what to do. No, literally. I'm reading again, but I'm still reading the same fucking book that I was reading the last time I ever read a book a couple weeks ago. It's I don't know why it's taking me forever. Like I thought I was gonna read... I want to become one of those people that 

read on planes, but like I feel like it's time to watch a movie. I think it's time to chill. Like... Oh, on a plane I get like... Oh, I'm... Cause I plan all these things 

to do. I'm like, I'm gonna read a book. I'm gonna play this game. I play or I read for like five minutes. I'm like, next thing, next thing I can't do this. Like I guess I'll wrestle this. 

No, I can't. I can't. I can't. But today I read for like two hours this morning. It's not really nice. It's not really nice. Yeah, but a book that I have read 

in the past that for some reason came up in my mind as a memory is called Birthday Girl by Penelope Douglas. It's smut by the way. Obviously. Of course, girl. I don't know why I thought... I was like, this is gonna be something good, something 

whole sense on the interesting wrestling. No, it's smut, bro. Anytime I read something, it's gonna be smut. Get your mind out of the gutter. Like, I don't really like Penelope Douglas's writing because I think it's a bit controversial with 

age a lot of times. Certain things, like it could be a little teeny, like there's this other book, Punk 57 or something like that. I wouldn't recommend that book, but everybody liked it, but I felt like it was teeny. And then Birthday Girl, she basically falls in love with her boyfriend's dad. Yeah, it's a bit weird. But I read the whole thing and it got a little 

spicy. How long is it? All these books are like, I don't know how many pages I read it on my Kindle. They're just like... Really fast. Yeah, I mean, if I could sit down and read for seven hours and 

I'd get it done. Seven hours, okay. But some people could get it done in like four. I have to read a little slower after like reread things. Yeah, same, I get distracted 

mid-sentence a lot. Yeah. And then I'm like a page pass and I'm like, I don't know what happened. No, literally. I'm like, what the fuck? What did he just say? But the book I'm reading right now, which I was reading before, if you guys weren't listening to me, then I'll tell you it's called A Long Time Coming. Sorry, I'm thinking. It's not even meditating. She got distracted. Um, it's got a long time 

coming. It's a third book of a sequel. You don't 

have to read it third. I recommend reading it like as is which the way that she recommends it. Plus the first book, it gets like steamy within like 30% of you reading it. But 

the second book gets steamy around 50% and now this one gets steamy around 70%. So like it took a little fucking while. So it's 70% of the book is hot? No, it takes about 70% of reading to 

get to the hot part. Oh girl, what the fuck? The climax is the only hot part? Like come on now. I want to watch a porno. Read a porno. Right, I want to read a fucking porno and that's when I felt low key about the first book. It was like romcom porno. So as I kept reading and like she keeps the characters consistent. So I like it and what I was reading today since it was getting spicy, I was like, like non-stop reading. She was horny. Yeah. I'm proper horny right now. So yeah, I recommend both of those. 

If you're interested, they will be linked in the 

description under Amazon. I need to get a Kindle actually, but actually, I don't know why I'm talking about this bitch. I have no money. I just said, no, stop saying that right now in this very moment. No, no, no, you got money girl. You got money. I live like I do trust and believe I live like I do. I went out two days in a row. You really shouldn't have maybe that's why in 

my mind I'm like, no, you didn't. He wouldn't do some dumb shit like that. But you showed it. You know, to be honest, this whole weekend I spent in total, 

maybe like 80 bucks. That's a lot. No girl, I spent that on one night. I know because you're a fucking addict. Oh, okay. Here comes the fucking. Yeah, she goes. Yeah, she goes. I didn't know what else to 

call them. Those are my rags. I still haven't been 

able to watch a fucking movie. So I'm going to do that tonight. I'm beginning you all these recommendations. It's stacking up. It's stacking. I'm overwhelmed. I've been pushing you though. Like I'll remind you 

because I need you to watch. I think it's like three movies. 

You need me to watch Nymphomaniac, Possessor. Oh, Nymphomaniac, you can that's like last on the list. You need Into the Earth, Possessor and Triangle of Sadness. 30 minutes into the movie, I was like, oh my God, this is so good. But 

I was like analyzing everything they were doing. I was like, oh my God, this is so well made. I was really on to shit. It's been a bit like Megan. Megan was good. There was no complaints. No, Megan was 

amazing, but there was some parts where you exaggerated. Okay, the part the only part I talked about was the vomiting scene. You'll see that that was not an exaggeration. Okay. Anyways, do you have any more rags? No, but I just keep thinking about the 

pizza. I'm going to go get after this recording. I literally keep thinking about like what I'm going to do. Like I'm so hungry. I'm so hungry. I'm like, damn, we really have to talk about a topic right now. Like that's crazy. I know. But you guys, we have a wholesome topic for you today. Like this is taking us back to episode one actually. Low key. Yeah. I mean, I guess because it's like a little serious, not serious. I 

mean, it's just like, it's an info. I wasn't saying info maniac, but I was, I thought that's what you were going to say. It looked like it was going to come out girl. It's an informative episode. There we go. I suppose so. Yeah. It's just like enlightening, I guess. So this week's 

topic is kind of a plan of what we talked about last week 

briefly since I recently visited Tampa where we're originally from for a little bit over two weeks. You mean too long. Two weeks too long. And Mike and I both live outside of the city, state. Mike is different country of 

where we grew up. Different continent. No, literally different continent. We have different experiences of visiting home. So we wanted the people who have ever considered about moving away because this is related to you or the people who have moved away and like family dynamic and friend dynamic has shifted or the people that are just coming home for vacation for the first time and just want to know like the experiences of other people and how it might differ, how it might relate or like, yeah, like maybe what to expect, what not to expect. Right. Especially if you like live down for college type shit. But anyway, let's get into 

it. Well my experience is super different from yours like when you just went home now. Because 

the first time I remember coming home after living alone was when I was getting my master's degree. And during that time, especially the first year, I had no friends that I connected with like on a personal level really. That's true. Like in Sweden you didn't. Exactly. And the whole life felt like it was 

back at Florida so every time I would go back. You were so hyped. Yeah. Exactly. I felt like I could be myself. I could do 

like whatever I wanted to do, like what I was planning. Like I wanted to go out with friends, get drunk, not get kicked out of the bar because I was like one of my biggest issues. I would go here, get super fucked up, get kicked out of the bar. You always got kicked out of the Swedish bars every single time. Oh no, this still happens. You know, sometimes. Look at you, look at you. Yeah, like 

my experiences were really good because I planned it around those friends but it 

became different once I wasn't in school anymore. Like the first time I went back home because I was going back to live and I was expecting like it's going to go back to normal. All the friends I had, this was two years after like. Not being there anymore. Yeah. So it was like really depressing because I was like separating from the really good friends 

I made and then I went back and I was like I hope it's going to be the same shit like party all the time. I went back. I was left with three friends. I'll tell you that. It wasn't not what I expected. Nobody was there. It blindsided me like for like a vacation like two weeks, like three weeks going back 

home of course is different because everybody's like yeah. Yeah, but having to move back is completely different. Yeah, exactly. Technically I have moved back too because during the pandemic I moved back for like three 

months. Remember when I broke my foot. Oh yeah, you did. You spent the whole summer. How was that? How was your experience doing that? That? Oh my God. Well besides the broken foot of course. My family dynamic was a lot different than, I don't even, it's so. And memory is 

such a weird thing because like something could be what two years ago and it could feel like it was a lifetime ago and that's kind of where I'm at with like that situation because a lot of people my business partner at the time is no longer my business partner who like moved back out with me. Yeah. She moved back home actually. She moved back home after moving here but when I moved back to Tampa I got her a job at Indeed and we got an apartment in Austin. Oh yes, yes, yes. Worked from home. That's where we started the clothing brand and then when we moved to 

New York. So we'll have a story time for that eventually but yeah, no that my experience when I moved back was completely different but I feel like the consistent thing was going back for me which is unfortunate. Coming from a toxic background is that those feelings can like continue and it's not an overnight change. Like even if there are changes that happen like nothing's going to be complete and people can still be back in their toxic ways and then like this time when I went back it was like not that everybody's going to stop doing their shit for you but you forget that everybody has their own life type shit. Exactly. You forget that not everybody's waiting for you to come back. Right. No literally like nobody's waiting. Besides like your mom. I think you talked about was like toxic family and like how 

it can affect you. One example I had is I was doing super good here around November to December. I had no bad days like I was living the life. I felt so good especially because it was winter I was like wow I'm really like powering through this and then I went back to Bulgaria in January. Felt like the toxic relationship I have with my parents like came back a little bit and it really affected me and I didn't think it would because I was so good but like I just wasn't even prepped for it. A very similar situation for me this previous time. I just had such a different view of how it would go and we spent like a really good time but like some of the things like how they take care of me. I don't know it just translated somehow into my other life. That's the thing too. It's like we are the youngest as well speaking for you and 

I. We both have an older sibling and then our parents and I think it's hard since we're the ones like we're part of the like the cooler generation like we got to be honest. Like we really had that cusp work in our favor favor of us being able to still identify as Gen Z even though we're like millennials or whatever. We don't talk about our age. Yeah y'all don't need to know. Since we are like the babies of the family there's that tendency of us having to 

shift the new relationship and it is kind of in our late 20s where we really have to like shift it unless you're like one of those people who went outside of the state for college and had a boyfriend and like the cliche people that's not our market. I think another thing about us is also that we're more open minded about mental health and like learning about it versus like our families that are still like closed minded. So it's like going back to that. We take like more of the emotions that they give to us and we internalize it 

and solve it more. Yeah there we go but internalizing also gives us like the self awareness and it brings on negative energy. You just have to work through it. And then we forget the whole perspective and like one of the keys to life which is to not take anything personal. Yes. And then it's like yeah because you're so sensitive so then you start taking everything personal 

and that's okay because A. you're no longer in your home that was your home but you've made your new home. And especially if you're from a background where your family stays like put which you and I is kind of like that. Because some families like live their lives where like oh yeah my sister lives in Kansas my brother lives in Hawaii and my mom lives in Delaware type shit. But for us we're the only people that moved away. I think families that come from like lower income countries it's usually how it goes. Yeah essentially. You want to lower your expectations at the least. No you should. That's one thing that Melinda pointed out to me today. That's what she was like I 

want you to be able to like get to a point of going back and not getting so disappointed because I do I hate saying this I don't this is tough. But it's not like I get disappointed it's just my expectations are too high. It's not the people that I'm disappointed in it's my expectations to be clear. So yeah I need to just lower them. But that's something we have to realize that we don't have control over certain things so 

we can't have these expectations. Like one of the things that I do is I have certain expectations of certain friends and then that translates into other things. Yeah a lot of other things. So you just can't do that to yourself or else you're just never going to be happy. Yeah right. So lower your expectations. Remember that everybody has their life and you're not that important. Yeah 

going in with the open mind like maybe even go meet somebody new go somewhere different that you haven't been. Honestly that's what I would tell previous me like go there like it's vacation. Exactly yeah don't go there to reconnect with everybody. I mean you can of course but like have other things in mind because if not you're going to be at home bored because you're relying on everybody else. Exactly. Make it into a vacation don't make it like you're at the airport. No literally because 

that's how I felt like when you describe that like feeling like I'm at the airport waiting that's how I was feeling for two weeks. My situation is a little bit different. because I'm in between jobs. Yeah, stuff happens. And like I just have a lot of things. I'm in like a 

point of life where everything feels pending already. And so being in Tampa, everything continued to be pending because if I needed to go to an event that a brand invited me to, I couldn't go. Or if I needed to go to an in-person interview because I'm trying to find extra sources of income, I couldn't do it. Also in Florida, you're locked off because you need a car to go everywhere. So that's another big thing. Yeah, and now I'm used to living in the city where 

I can just walk somewhere, like take the train. So it just feels different. Yeah. I don't know. I think it's because like when we think of certain memories from where we used to 

live, there's nostalgia. So it's always positive. You forget the bad shit. It's not going to be the same. We forget the bad shit and we have to remember it's not going to be the same. Like just like we have evolved and we have our own lives in our own apartments 

and our own everything. People have their own everything too. Some of my friends have children. You know? Exactly. Life is different. A lot of them are married. This is also for the single. I feel like this is a very niche topic. No, I think this is pretty open 

because like a lot of people nowadays are moving and like coming home. Yeah, because even if you have a man and you're moving, it's like going back home and visiting your family is still going to probably feel similar to what we're feeling like. Why don't you guys give me the same attention type shit? Oh, I just thought of an experience that's kind of similar to this. Well, it's really similar to this, but it's like a different context. It was when I was living in Florida for a year after I finished and then 

I moved back to Sweden after a year. Everything was different. All the friend groups were completely changed. Like nothing was what I expected. And I went into it thinking like this shit's going 

to cure my depression. Bitch, absolutely not. Like I had to like reorientate myself in everything that was so crazy. It's crazy. Like 

time doesn't stop anywhere. Like time keeps going without you. Time. Oh my God. The concept of time has been on my mind so much lately because it's crazy. Like 

if you have anxiety, basic definition of it. Don't look at a clock. Oh yeah. If you have anxiety, you're constantly like thinking about running out of time and like shit 

just like speeding up and being it's insane. Time is so annoying with anxiety. Oh my God. Bitch, I'm always in a rush. Always and that's one thing I'm trying to control with 

my stress management that I need to control. And that's time. Like literally when I was reading for two hours, I started to beat myself up for it. As if I was just like picking my fucking asshole for two hours. Me? Bitch, you were reading. But I was watching the recommendation. I was like, oh my God, bitch, like get your ass up and do something real. 

And I was like, I'm literally working. It's time to get your fucking ass up and work. A lot of you girls don't want to work these days. And this came set up. She was right. I'll do anything for money except for have 

sex and work. I'll have sex for money. You heard of here first. Send your bids. It would be. I wouldn't say there's nothing I wouldn't do for money 

because for a good amount of money, if somebody wanted to pay me like two mil. So how much for eating shit? For eating shit. Yeah. Who shit? My shit. That's tough. That would have to be like a few hundred mil. Can I have a spoon? Barehanded. Oh, that's different. That definitely adds another hundred mil to it. She has to be barehanded. There's some fear factor type shit. Oh my God. Did you 

know fear factor got canceled after they had one episode where they had to drink donkey cum? Say what the fuck? Why was that the line that they drew? Of all things though. Because these people had to do a lot. I just would never drink animals cum besides a human. You heard of here first. You 

heard of here first. Thank you for sharing that though. Yeah, you're welcome. Shout out to Terry. So yeah, just lower your expectations and everyone has their own life including you and this 

is just part of your 20s. This is really just a lesson in your 20s. I feel like in your 30s and especially your 40s, the dynamic is already kind of like used to the change and every like that next part of life, you know, like we have to remind ourselves that we're transitioning into that next part. I think once you're in a like secure spot in your life, like none of that is actually going to matter because you're going to not have any insecurity about what you're doing. So you're going to go there and you're going to be like, yeah, bitch, I live my life. I do me. Right. I think it's different. Everybody has their own opinion of success or whatever the case may be. All those insecurities 

that you may have journal that shit out and leave it there. Like, Oh, absolutely. I saw I saw something on Instagram that said better to journal than to overshare and I was like, bitch, I do both. That should hurt. That was an attack. I'm an overshare. If you don't shut me up, 

I will overshare at all times. This episode was an overshare. I'm embracing the cringe. I'm just going to let it be. Right. No, yeah, this is 

it. Cringe is what works. Sex sells cringe sells. And that's what we're here to do. This 

is a cringy sexy podcast. I just don't give a fuck. This is the proper cringe podcast. Right. Proper cringy like anyways. Thank you guys for listening 

today. As always, we love you and please follow us on 

Instagram. The name. Yeah. Again, bear with us with the name change, but everything is linked in the description. As 

always, follow us personally at thank you, Lex and at Mike Kandoff. And for now, we're off duty underscore six times. Eventually we will probably most likely be the proper podcast. Not me forgetting. I was going to say the property podcast. The property loan podcast. Yeah, and we will see you next week. Bye guys. Buenas noches. Bye babies. Bye my 

proper whores. We love you. We're testing things out.